I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
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I'd run if a crazy monkey was chasing me for sex.
Crazy monkey sex earns you a one day excused absence from the gym
Just put the crazy monkey in the shower with the Eiffel tower statue, lock the door, and head off to the gym. Problem solved.
I'm sure the effort you put in to chasing down and carching the crazy monkey counts as at least a gym day. Then you get to add all the energy used fucking it. So you're probably good unt you run out of bath salts.
I'd break in to my house as well if I was being chased by a crazy monkey that wanted to have sex with me as well. I'm sure that was enough cardio for the day