She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border