Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Arizona (520)

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?

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  (520): Did your surprise acid trip turn out well? http://tfl.nu/10os
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  We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.

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  (520): We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me. http://tfl.nu/rcmo
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  my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl

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  (520): my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl http://tfl.nu/kolr
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  So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational

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  (520): So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational http://tfl.nu/op3j
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  Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!

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  (520): Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again! http://tfl.nu/ddjb
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  Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.

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  (520): Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today. http://tfl.nu/5rxw
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  Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.

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  (520): Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds. http://tfl.nu/3cpt
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  Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman

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  (520): Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman http://tfl.nu/fkwg
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  Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.

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  (520): Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell. http://tfl.nu/vby3
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  I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs

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  My work here is done

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  (520): I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs (602): My work here is done http://tfl.nu/ashb
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  Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.

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  (520): Go for gold. Two birds with one vag. http://tfl.nu/1s6j
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  Are we in any of the areas with tornados?

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  Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.

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  (520): Are we in any of the areas with tornados? (931): Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/dq1c
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  They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.

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  Judging by this purple one they got to second base.

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  (520): They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up. (520): Judging by this purple one they got to second base. http://tfl.nu/efot
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  That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.

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  (520): That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky. http://tfl.nu/gdoe
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  Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.

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  (520): Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties. http://tfl.nu/5b50
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