I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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