Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth