Drunk is a universal language darling
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Such a big mess for such a small penis
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN