Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I got copblocked.
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways