Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Indiana (574)

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  Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.

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  (574): Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn. http://tfl.nu/7jbp
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  I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.

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  (574): I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it. http://tfl.nu/5b4k
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  Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly

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  (574): Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly http://tfl.nu/0015
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  LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY

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  (574): LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY http://tfl.nu/e3an
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  LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN

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  (574): LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN http://tfl.nu/j386
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  IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.

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  YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.

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  NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

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  (574): IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH. (971): YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH. (574): NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE. http://tfl.nu/j0cd
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  I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.

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  (574): I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever. http://tfl.nu/zs85
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  she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to

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  (574): she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to http://tfl.nu/1loy
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  Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.

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  (574): Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time. http://tfl.nu/00ef
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  I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..

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  (574): I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today.. http://tfl.nu/121n
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  I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN

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  (574): I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN http://tfl.nu/b0a5
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  I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.

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  (574): I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/m1lp
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  Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?

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  It has heated floors

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  (574): Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom? (1-574): It has heated floors http://tfl.nu/xj5h
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  i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.

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  (574): i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand. http://tfl.nu/cuvt
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  well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.

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  (574): well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test. http://tfl.nu/4a57
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