I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
so he's a sleeptalker.
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.