Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session