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Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
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