Texts From Last Night

Last Night in North Dakota (701)

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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.

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  (701): Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client. http://tfl.nu/dueq
  Replies (6) Good night (1200) Bad night (190)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.

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  (701): You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty. http://tfl.nu/9ebp
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.

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  (701): Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open. http://tfl.nu/k8hm
  Replies (9) Good night (1644) Bad night (128)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Shania Twain would have been proud

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  (218): the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up (701): Shania Twain would have been proud http://tfl.nu/u6vz
  Replies (3) Good night (778) Bad night (122)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Is this a drinking picnic?

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Is there another kind?

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  (231): Is this a drinking picnic? (701): Is there another kind? http://tfl.nu/hhhs
  Replies (3) Good night (773) Bad night (129)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday

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  (701): You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday http://tfl.nu/l516
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.

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  (701): Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit. http://tfl.nu/e4rt
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (136) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.

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  (701): I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/y1uj
  Replies (0) Good night (173) Bad night (160) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED

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  (701): Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED http://tfl.nu/76ld
  Replies (5) Good night (419) Bad night (149) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately

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  (701): I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately http://tfl.nu/hiyd
  Replies (2) Good night (550) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...

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  (701): Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter... http://tfl.nu/1omr
  Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (161) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.

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  (701): I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking. http://tfl.nu/71cy
  Replies (0) Good night (348) Bad night (207)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.

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  (701): If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs. http://tfl.nu/qa5n
  Replies (5) Good night (354) Bad night (1043) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.

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  (701): I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control. http://tfl.nu/z8ao
  Replies (4) Good night (416) Bad night (237) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  That's true love, there.

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  (701): Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.' (701): That's true love, there. http://tfl.nu/22yh
  Replies (0) Good night (758) Bad night (425)