The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.