Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
please don't ironically join a cult
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts