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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
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