that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
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