Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.