Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Colorado (303)

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.

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  (303): as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking. http://tfl.nu/8b6a
  Replies (0) Good night (312) Bad night (71)
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  i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.

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  (303): i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower. http://tfl.nu/pdu2
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"

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  (303): Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!" http://tfl.nu/4c9h
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  Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.

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  This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.

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  (720): Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag. (303): This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two. http://tfl.nu/02n3
  Replies (2) Good night (528) Bad night (132)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?

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  (303): Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob? http://tfl.nu/4t4l
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may

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  (303): Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may http://tfl.nu/mwgs
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.

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  (303): It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple. http://tfl.nu/6uwz
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.

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  (303): It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address. http://tfl.nu/4jnm
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.

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  (303): You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out. http://tfl.nu/5jzq
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Still breathing?

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  Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.

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  What.

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  (503): Still breathing? (303): Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences. (503): What. http://tfl.nu/d219
  Replies (4) Good night (510) Bad night (170)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.

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  (303): I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG. http://tfl.nu/ltlv
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  His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?

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  (303): His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls? http://tfl.nu/8cye
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?

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  (303): I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive? http://tfl.nu/iyw4
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.

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  (303): No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities. http://tfl.nu/n27f
  Replies (1) Good night (503) Bad night (161)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles

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  (303): Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles http://tfl.nu/b1h9
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