not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
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