HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
..pick me up at 8.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.