Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui