Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so let's talk penis.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
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