Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (951)

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  (951): View more from California

  Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.

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  (951): Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem. http://tfl.nu/85aq
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  I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.

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  (951): I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them. http://tfl.nu/loif
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  Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.

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  (951): Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails. http://tfl.nu/29ec
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  She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.

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  (951): She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer. http://tfl.nu/6dwb
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  I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.

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  (951): I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting. http://tfl.nu/326h
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  isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?

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  (951): isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together? http://tfl.nu/lg5k
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  I have no words

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  Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.

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  (949): I have no words (951): Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water. http://tfl.nu/wxcd
  Replies (18) Good night (689) Bad night (1966)
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  We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.

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  (951): We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question. http://tfl.nu/23so
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  Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.

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  (951): Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team. http://tfl.nu/ve6p
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  My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room

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  (951): My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room http://tfl.nu/wnm7
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  can you blow me for old times sake

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  only for old times sake

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  (760): can you blow me for old times sake (951): only for old times sake http://tfl.nu/ab6d
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  I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street

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  (951): I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street http://tfl.nu/tl0c
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  I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.

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  (951): I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's. http://tfl.nu/x6q1
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  Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.

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  (951): Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other. http://tfl.nu/32su
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  I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.

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  (951): I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad. http://tfl.nu/nyqb
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