She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.