I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped