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Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
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