So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.