Texts From Last Night

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(319): View more from Iowa

No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!

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(319): No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy! http://tfl.nu/f6zv

Replies (4) Good night (126) Bad night (73) Order T-Shirt
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.

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(270): Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck. http://tfl.nu/t1ax

Replies (4) Good night (770) Bad night (49)
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(719): View more from Colorado

id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...

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(719): id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex... http://tfl.nu/l03p

Replies (4) Good night (247) Bad night (56) Order T-Shirt
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(818): View more from California

Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.

(818): View more from California

Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.

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(818): Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history. (818): Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night. http://tfl.nu/hwf0

Replies (4) Good night (65) Bad night (383)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.

(1-704): View more from North Carolina

1. Thanks. 2. No.

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(704): She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister. (1-704): 1. Thanks. 2. No. http://tfl.nu/698u

Replies (2) Good night (101) Bad night (302)
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(419): View more from Ohio

So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?

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(419): So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk? http://tfl.nu/8zbp

Replies (7) Good night (144) Bad night (315) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

So how was the sex with me last night?

(703): View more from Virginia

No worse than usual.

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(202): So how was the sex with me last night? (703): No worse than usual. http://tfl.nu/1snn

Replies (4) Good night (104) Bad night (375)
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(801): View more from Utah

I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..

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(801): I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore.. http://tfl.nu/1hum

Replies (2) Good night (192) Bad night (50) Order T-Shirt
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(609): View more from New Jersey

jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face

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(609): jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face http://tfl.nu/r9ws

Replies (2) Good night (251) Bad night (43) Order T-Shirt
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(596): View more from

Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.

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(596): Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop. http://tfl.nu/tzap

Replies (2) Good night (214) Bad night (56) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.

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(703): Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it. http://tfl.nu/ke8h

Replies (3) Good night (103) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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(681): View more from West Virginia

I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion

(743): View more from

It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you

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(681): I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion (743): It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you http://tfl.nu/rspk

Replies (1) Good night (372) Bad night (67)
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(315): View more from New York

So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"

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(315): So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair" http://tfl.nu/gzbj

Replies (4) Good night (183) Bad night (59) Order T-Shirt
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I want to go out and have good clean fun.

(931): View more from Tennessee

Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.

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(931): I want to go out and have good clean fun. (931): Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina. http://tfl.nu/qwbd

Replies (0) Good night (141) Bad night (58)
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(936): View more from Texas

We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.

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(936): We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by. http://tfl.nu/7uma

Replies (2) Good night (302) Bad night (158)

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