Dick very happy bro
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
