Texts From Last Night

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.

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(651): Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up. http://tfl.nu/p8h2

Replies (0) Good night (201) Bad night (87)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content

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(201): I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content http://tfl.nu/y4zd

Replies (0) Good night (173) Bad night (107)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.

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(908): I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen. http://tfl.nu/v4tf

Replies (3) Good night (289) Bad night (115)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.

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(248): I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl. http://tfl.nu/rz4s

Replies (0) Good night (294) Bad night (126)
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(242): View more from Bahamas-Carib

I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.

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(242): I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover. http://tfl.nu/7m2e

Replies (0) Good night (115) Bad night (188)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?

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(313): Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim? http://tfl.nu/tmf7

Replies (1) Good night (209) Bad night (77)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred

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(814): Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred http://tfl.nu/bcw1

Replies (1) Good night (194) Bad night (88)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...

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(215): You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected... http://tfl.nu/3okc

Replies (0) Good night (185) Bad night (90)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So how did it go?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.

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(617): So how did it go? (508): I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake. http://tfl.nu/kgbf

Replies (2) Good night (128) Bad night (183)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.

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(615): Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car. http://tfl.nu/1hto

Replies (0) Good night (114) Bad night (151)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.

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(816): Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question. http://tfl.nu/xpn9

Replies (0) Good night (180) Bad night (120)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?

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(330): Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex? http://tfl.nu/2s7k

Replies (6) Good night (202) Bad night (120)
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(585): View more from New York

When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.

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(585): When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME. http://tfl.nu/uv1z

Replies (4) Good night (396) Bad night (81)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "

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(732): he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot " http://tfl.nu/4jvz

Replies (3) Good night (383) Bad night (122)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?

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(613): Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower? http://tfl.nu/hj3e

Replies (2) Good night (201) Bad night (269)

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