I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You can make out without kissing
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm