Texts From Last Night

Favorite
(808): View more from Hawaii

In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(808): In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it. http://tfl.nu/3ucc

Replies (2) Good night (56) Bad night (69)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate http://tfl.nu/e7xr

Replies (0) Good night (106) Bad night (58)
Favorite
(905): View more from Ontario

You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(905): You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr.. http://tfl.nu/wzin

Replies (1) Good night (63) Bad night (91)
Favorite
(309): View more from Illinois

Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(309): Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space". http://tfl.nu/0b3b

Replies (0) Good night (69) Bad night (70)
Favorite
(937): View more from Ohio

Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(937): Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment. http://tfl.nu/z1fq

Replies (0) Good night (83) Bad night (73)
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME! http://tfl.nu/omc2

Replies (0) Good night (101) Bad night (55)
Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked http://tfl.nu/kxqx

Replies (1) Good night (77) Bad night (90)
Favorite
(530): View more from California

He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(530): He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday http://tfl.nu/dy0x

Replies (0) Good night (115) Bad night (52)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment. http://tfl.nu/auln

Replies (0) Good night (133) Bad night (55)
Favorite
(608): View more from Wisconsin

Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(608): Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew? http://tfl.nu/2ign

Replies (0) Good night (71) Bad night (74)
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money. http://tfl.nu/gg7b

Replies (1) Good night (123) Bad night (53)
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail http://tfl.nu/zj29

Replies (0) Good night (108) Bad night (62)
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this? http://tfl.nu/kchb

Replies (1) Good night (92) Bad night (79)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise. http://tfl.nu/z0vg

Replies (0) Good night (138) Bad night (55)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win. http://tfl.nu/fxme

Replies (1) Good night (105) Bad night (86)

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: