Texts From Last Night

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(425): View more from Washington

I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday

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(425): I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday http://tfl.nu/6bnr

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(410): View more from Maryland

He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."

(410): View more from Maryland

I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.

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(410): He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever." (410): I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much. http://tfl.nu/3c5w

Replies (0) Good night (25) Bad night (3)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.

(580): View more from Oklahoma

I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.

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(580): She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand. (580): I'm worried because he hasn't removed it. http://tfl.nu/hp4o

Replies (0) Good night (20) Bad night (9)
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(719): View more from Colorado

The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.

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(719): The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies. http://tfl.nu/1axa

Replies (0) Good night (27) Bad night (8)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.

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(612): I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night. http://tfl.nu/84z8

Replies (0) Good night (34) Bad night (17) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Really? A fat girl?

(1-206): View more from Washington

I'm walking her back. Chill out.

(1-206): View more from Washington

She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.

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(612): Really? A fat girl? (1-206): I'm walking her back. Chill out. (1-206): She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though. http://tfl.nu/xw6d

Replies (14) Good night (322) Bad night (133) Order T-Shirt
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?

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(859): Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut? http://tfl.nu/nfyo

Replies (11) Good night (266) Bad night (107) Order T-Shirt
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!

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(715): It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful! http://tfl.nu/m6vl

Replies (1) Good night (249) Bad night (54) Order T-Shirt
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(305): View more from Florida

I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.

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(305): I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me. http://tfl.nu/8pa6

Replies (6) Good night (95) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.

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(336): Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups. http://tfl.nu/v7i7

Replies (6) Good night (334) Bad night (94) Order T-Shirt
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(289): View more from Ontario

In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.

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(289): In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/ntm3

Replies (12) Good night (125) Bad night (330) Order T-Shirt
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger

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(617): Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger http://tfl.nu/kw9o

Replies (0) Good night (78) Bad night (138) Order T-Shirt
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.

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(307): I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life. http://tfl.nu/xy78

Replies (2) Good night (175) Bad night (91) Order T-Shirt
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(601): View more from Mississippi

I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.

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(601): I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago. http://tfl.nu/p44l

Replies (4) Good night (280) Bad night (69) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?

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(+44): So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff? http://tfl.nu/24fo

Replies (2) Good night (114) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt

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