Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals