Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday