Texts From Last Night

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(763): View more from Minnesota

How about we just have a naked taco night instead?

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(763): How about we just have a naked taco night instead? http://tfl.nu/yj58

Replies (1) Good night (232) Bad night (59)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.

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(804): I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of. http://tfl.nu/8q9f

Replies (2) Good night (119) Bad night (182)
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(347): View more from New York

Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot

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(347): Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot http://tfl.nu/proi

Replies (0) Good night (111) Bad night (149)
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(443): View more from Maryland

The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.

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(443): The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs. http://tfl.nu/73ow

Replies (1) Good night (258) Bad night (88)
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(607): View more from New York

I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.

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(607): I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay. http://tfl.nu/sln0

Replies (1) Good night (132) Bad night (60)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.

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(715): I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class. http://tfl.nu/rdgm

Replies (2) Good night (144) Bad night (198)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!

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(908): you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?! http://tfl.nu/kjl1

Replies (1) Good night (267) Bad night (70)
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(518): View more from New York

Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird

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(518): Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird http://tfl.nu/877o

Replies (2) Good night (141) Bad night (66)
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(602): View more from Arizona

You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.

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(602): You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs. http://tfl.nu/mu1s

Replies (2) Good night (203) Bad night (68)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.

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(404): I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten. http://tfl.nu/1ps7

Replies (0) Good night (164) Bad night (68)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.

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(517): Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into. http://tfl.nu/xhgf

Replies (1) Good night (65) Bad night (253)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do

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(616): Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do http://tfl.nu/yi0d

Replies (3) Good night (365) Bad night (95)
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(217): View more from Illinois

2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs

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(217): 2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs http://tfl.nu/f8qu

Replies (0) Good night (230) Bad night (55)
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(713): View more from Texas

This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.

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(713): This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy. http://tfl.nu/xpy1

Replies (1) Good night (217) Bad night (78)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.

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(702): Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional. http://tfl.nu/j7mu

Replies (1) Good night (75) Bad night (204)

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