Texts From Last Night

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(872): View more from Illinois

i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.

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(872): i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going. http://tfl.nu/c51c

Replies (0) Good night (0) Bad night (0)
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(572): View more from

party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time

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(572): party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time http://tfl.nu/rnou

Replies (0) Good night (2) Bad night (0)
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(801): View more from Utah

My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"

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(801): My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts" http://tfl.nu/ald0

Replies (0) Good night (12) Bad night (12)
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(408): View more from California

I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.

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(408): I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories. http://tfl.nu/8r9f

Replies (0) Good night (12) Bad night (8)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?

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(217): I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been? http://tfl.nu/gh9w

Replies (0) Good night (17) Bad night (13)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.

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(586): Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind. http://tfl.nu/wymh

Replies (0) Good night (18) Bad night (13)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I'm getting married

(910): View more from North Carolina

To pizza

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(910): I'm getting married (910): To pizza http://tfl.nu/qtma

Replies (0) Good night (29) Bad night (13)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.

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(732): I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself. http://tfl.nu/uoqa

Replies (1) Good night (20) Bad night (32)
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(707): View more from California

Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?

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(707): Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain? http://tfl.nu/008f

Replies (0) Good night (26) Bad night (19)
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(817): View more from Texas

We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.

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(817): We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible. http://tfl.nu/3c0a

Replies (0) Good night (30) Bad night (23)
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(540): View more from Virginia

LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.

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(540): LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA. http://tfl.nu/huba

Replies (0) Good night (47) Bad night (23)
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(315): View more from New York

Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.

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(315): Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade. http://tfl.nu/7c7r

Replies (2) Good night (205) Bad night (113)
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(727): View more from Florida

Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.

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(727): Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night. http://tfl.nu/kpjy

Replies (0) Good night (71) Bad night (190)
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(619): View more from California

WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY

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(619): WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY http://tfl.nu/oz1u

Replies (0) Good night (199) Bad night (66)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?

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(248): I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right? http://tfl.nu/943w

Replies (0) Good night (150) Bad night (88)

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