Texts From Last Night

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(224): View more from Illinois

I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.

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(224): I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk. http://tfl.nu/qq27

Replies (0) Good night (0) Bad night (0)
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(301): View more from Maryland

literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far

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(301): literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far http://tfl.nu/z1xz

Replies (0) Good night (9) Bad night (10)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now

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(513): Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now http://tfl.nu/xtrh

Replies (0) Good night (15) Bad night (14)
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(518): View more from New York

Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious

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(518): Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious http://tfl.nu/hriw

Replies (0) Good night (16) Bad night (20)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.

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(613): I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season. http://tfl.nu/8rh9

Replies (0) Good night (24) Bad night (23)
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(310): View more from California

I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.

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(310): I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest. http://tfl.nu/r5b0

Replies (0) Good night (23) Bad night (20)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.

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(215): Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self. http://tfl.nu/eubl

Replies (0) Good night (30) Bad night (24)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...

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(419): I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord... http://tfl.nu/yyau

Replies (0) Good night (34) Bad night (27)
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(519): View more from Ontario

He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher

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(519): He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher http://tfl.nu/uiek

Replies (0) Good night (41) Bad night (34)
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(602): View more from Arizona

Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours

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(602): Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours http://tfl.nu/swqx

Replies (0) Good night (47) Bad night (36)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"

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(573): Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo" http://tfl.nu/w19f

Replies (0) Good night (33) Bad night (25)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here

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(306): had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious (1-306): that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here http://tfl.nu/w93t

Replies (0) Good night (58) Bad night (38)
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(847): View more from Illinois

there was so much lube in my brother's closet...

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(847): there was so much lube in my brother's closet... http://tfl.nu/yytv

Replies (0) Good night (54) Bad night (47)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.

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(423): You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again. http://tfl.nu/8jnp

Replies (1) Good night (231) Bad night (107)
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(205): View more from Alabama

he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor

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(205): he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor http://tfl.nu/c6qy

Replies (4) Good night (226) Bad night (150)

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