Texts From Last Night

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(925): View more from California

You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.

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(925): You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months. http://tfl.nu/t8uf

Replies (4) Good night (269) Bad night (90)
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(425): View more from Washington

Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness

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(425): Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness http://tfl.nu/fsz0

Replies (0) Good night (199) Bad night (84)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off

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(973): In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off http://tfl.nu/ncu8

Replies (2) Good night (135) Bad night (222)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.

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(804): Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal. http://tfl.nu/5gs5

Replies (2) Good night (299) Bad night (103)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore

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(740): I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore http://tfl.nu/8kqe

Replies (9) Good night (240) Bad night (78)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.

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(423): That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator. http://tfl.nu/o4y1

Replies (3) Good night (90) Bad night (161)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.

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(519): Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom. http://tfl.nu/2pht

Replies (3) Good night (368) Bad night (83)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.

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(+44): I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff. http://tfl.nu/4dhc

Replies (2) Good night (211) Bad night (116)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me

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(+44): I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me http://tfl.nu/ggvm

Replies (1) Good night (303) Bad night (80)
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(301): View more from Maryland

You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.

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(301): You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup. http://tfl.nu/bsru

Replies (0) Good night (162) Bad night (90)
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(425): View more from Washington

Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.

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(425): Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink. http://tfl.nu/8c1k

Replies (2) Good night (267) Bad night (86)
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(641): View more from Iowa

Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.

(641): View more from Iowa

I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.

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(641): Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground. (641): I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall. http://tfl.nu/v6jy

Replies (1) Good night (144) Bad night (98)
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(718): View more from New York

Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.

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(718): Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again. http://tfl.nu/lmop

Replies (2) Good night (161) Bad night (201)
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(914): View more from New York

I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero

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(914): I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero http://tfl.nu/isds

Replies (0) Good night (273) Bad night (81)
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(510): View more from California

How is your new roommate working out

(415): View more from California

We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.

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(510): How is your new roommate working out (415): We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good. http://tfl.nu/gu53

Replies (2) Good night (373) Bad night (126)

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