Texts From Last Night

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(773): View more from Illinois

I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.

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(773): I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it. http://tfl.nu/dkyt

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(773): View more from Illinois

Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.

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(773): Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster. http://tfl.nu/u4qm

Replies (0) Good night (14) Bad night (4)
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(630): View more from Illinois

On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be

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(630): On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be http://tfl.nu/th8f

Replies (0) Good night (3) Bad night (4)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.

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(502): I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials. http://tfl.nu/t8ak

Replies (0) Good night (5) Bad night (6)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

That is beautiful

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(405): He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me. (918): That is beautiful http://tfl.nu/7cuw

Replies (0) Good night (11) Bad night (4)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.

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(615): Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life. http://tfl.nu/xyuq

Replies (0) Good night (8) Bad night (6)
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(714): View more from California

especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.

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(714): especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy. http://tfl.nu/y2zk

Replies (0) Good night (12) Bad night (3)
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(514): View more from Quebec

fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous

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(514): fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous http://tfl.nu/lo6u

Replies (0) Good night (6) Bad night (5)
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(623): View more from Arizona

He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.

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(623): He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick. http://tfl.nu/h1ew

Replies (0) Good night (6) Bad night (6)
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(231): View more from Michigan

if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death

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(231): if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death http://tfl.nu/o4hu

Replies (0) Good night (5) Bad night (4)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.

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(765): Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself. http://tfl.nu/ol87

Replies (0) Good night (7) Bad night (11)
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(703): View more from Virginia

The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it

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(703): The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it http://tfl.nu/uv4l

Replies (0) Good night (136) Bad night (51)
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(206): View more from Washington

After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.

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(206): After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me. http://tfl.nu/gzna

Replies (1) Good night (138) Bad night (57)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.

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(715): Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house. http://tfl.nu/3u9d

Replies (0) Good night (151) Bad night (37)
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(646): View more from New York

Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.

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(646): Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants. http://tfl.nu/xfyp

Replies (0) Good night (70) Bad night (79)

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