Texts From Last Night

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(406): View more from Montana

Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry

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(406): Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry http://tfl.nu/gx9l

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(847): View more from Illinois

bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.

(309): View more from Illinois

May the force be with you.

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(847): bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died. (309): May the force be with you. http://tfl.nu/776r

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Pencil dick carries the name proudly.

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(612): Pencil dick carries the name proudly. http://tfl.nu/iir6

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(250): View more from British Columbia

He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea

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(250): He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea http://tfl.nu/7hkj

Replies (0) Good night (31) Bad night (12)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?

(505): View more from New Mexico

Heroically.

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(262): Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night? (505): Heroically. http://tfl.nu/ycud

Replies (0) Good night (51) Bad night (9)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.

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(202): She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood. http://tfl.nu/9x0w

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.

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(304): I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation. http://tfl.nu/s759

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.

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(+44): Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off. http://tfl.nu/1dmr

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(518): View more from New York

I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean

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(518): I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean http://tfl.nu/nhpo

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting

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(479): I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting http://tfl.nu/i8mu

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(240): View more from Maryland

God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.

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(240): God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone. http://tfl.nu/9qu8

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(301): View more from Maryland

I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan

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(301): I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan http://tfl.nu/1x19

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(561): View more from Florida

You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

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(561): You know I love you. I just don't love your penis. http://tfl.nu/4w11

Replies (6) Good night (103) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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(586): View more from Michigan

I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.

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(586): I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman. http://tfl.nu/wow9

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(+61): View more from Australia

Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry

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(+61): Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry http://tfl.nu/2c34

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