I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.