I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship