Texts From Last Night

Favorite
(561): View more from Florida

You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(561): You know I love you. I just don't love your penis. http://tfl.nu/4w11

Replies (5) Good night (40) Bad night (152) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(586): View more from Michigan

I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(586): I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman. http://tfl.nu/wow9

Replies (1) Good night (57) Bad night (23) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry http://tfl.nu/2c34

Replies (2) Good night (36) Bad night (95) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

DC is easy, you will figure it out.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): DC is easy, you will figure it out. (508): I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this. http://tfl.nu/ltz6

Replies (1) Good night (98) Bad night (16)
Favorite
(616): View more from Michigan

Thank you for caring about my cervix.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(616): Thank you for caring about my cervix. http://tfl.nu/akl3

Replies (0) Good night (93) Bad night (15) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad

(224): View more from Illinois

I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad (224): I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick. http://tfl.nu/vatm

Replies (2) Good night (26) Bad night (187)
Favorite
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(267): I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week http://tfl.nu/wcg4

Replies (1) Good night (35) Bad night (103) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(509): View more from Washington

Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(509): Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it. http://tfl.nu/l3y2

Replies (1) Good night (104) Bad night (40)
Favorite
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(306): so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground (306): and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice http://tfl.nu/0q9q

Replies (1) Good night (116) Bad night (29)
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs." http://tfl.nu/6a8r

Replies (4) Good night (177) Bad night (41) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(787): I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey http://tfl.nu/3kl5

Replies (2) Good night (97) Bad night (65) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks... http://tfl.nu/xo0y

Replies (1) Good night (96) Bad night (48) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he? http://tfl.nu/et15

Replies (2) Good night (122) Bad night (20) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it. http://tfl.nu/bxd5

Replies (0) Good night (41) Bad night (103) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part. http://tfl.nu/p8tj

Replies (1) Good night (69) Bad night (209)

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: