Texts From Last Night

Favorite
(928): View more from Arizona

My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(928): My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left. http://tfl.nu/85y4

Replies (0) Good night (69) Bad night (48)
Favorite
(708): View more from Illinois

I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(708): I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped! http://tfl.nu/5pnp

Replies (1) Good night (84) Bad night (35)
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me. http://tfl.nu/ewcq

Replies (0) Good night (40) Bad night (64)
Favorite
(712): View more from Iowa

My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(712): My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain. http://tfl.nu/1h8o

Replies (0) Good night (50) Bad night (61)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend. http://tfl.nu/8rh6

Replies (0) Good night (41) Bad night (71)
Favorite
(831): View more from California

we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(831): we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well http://tfl.nu/bl6g

Replies (0) Good night (74) Bad night (46)
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat http://tfl.nu/s2vr

Replies (1) Good night (91) Bad night (47)
Favorite
(636): View more from Missouri

She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(636): She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude! http://tfl.nu/l1oq

Replies (1) Good night (101) Bad night (47)
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door. http://tfl.nu/69g0

Replies (0) Good night (87) Bad night (49)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later. http://tfl.nu/23tp

Replies (0) Good night (74) Bad night (52)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it http://tfl.nu/jm8h

Replies (0) Good night (70) Bad night (65)
Favorite
(731): View more from Tennessee

It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(731): It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked. http://tfl.nu/thm4

Replies (1) Good night (105) Bad night (46)
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering". http://tfl.nu/uajx

Replies (0) Good night (79) Bad night (44)
Favorite
(309): View more from Illinois

I need vitamin water and Jesus :/

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(309): I need vitamin water and Jesus :/ http://tfl.nu/afzj

Replies (1) Good night (86) Bad night (54)
Favorite
(970): View more from Colorado

idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(970): idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me. http://tfl.nu/gdf6

Replies (0) Good night (58) Bad night (83)

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: