Texts From Last Night

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(716): View more from New York

Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME

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(716): Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME http://tfl.nu/yk5a

Replies (2) Good night (242) Bad night (82)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.

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(847): I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards. http://tfl.nu/rmew

Replies (0) Good night (160) Bad night (84)
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(212): View more from New York

Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.

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(212): Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate. http://tfl.nu/w2uc

Replies (1) Good night (90) Bad night (217)
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(212): View more from New York

He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.

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(212): He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway. http://tfl.nu/5gaf

Replies (0) Good night (245) Bad night (75)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all

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(501): The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all http://tfl.nu/rl4u

Replies (1) Good night (244) Bad night (67)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras

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(504): Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras http://tfl.nu/enu7

Replies (2) Good night (147) Bad night (102)
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(312): View more from Illinois

At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.

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(312): At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific. http://tfl.nu/evej

Replies (1) Good night (203) Bad night (105)
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(773): View more from Illinois

She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.

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(773): She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages. http://tfl.nu/3zgy

Replies (1) Good night (116) Bad night (160)
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(518): View more from New York

Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.

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(518): Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for. http://tfl.nu/odgq

Replies (2) Good night (255) Bad night (87)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself

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(775): He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself http://tfl.nu/55fu

Replies (1) Good night (99) Bad night (325)
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(425): View more from Washington

Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me

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(425): Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me http://tfl.nu/l6rg

Replies (1) Good night (96) Bad night (240)
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(516): View more from New York

Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.

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(516): Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much. http://tfl.nu/d22a

Replies (1) Good night (96) Bad night (133)
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(510): View more from California

I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...

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(510): I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night... http://tfl.nu/bk6r

Replies (1) Good night (192) Bad night (85)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.

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(218): last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat. http://tfl.nu/thb6

Replies (0) Good night (122) Bad night (97)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.

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(803): So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops. http://tfl.nu/g5jw

Replies (0) Good night (81) Bad night (279)

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