So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch