Texts From Last Night

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(315): View more from New York

Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.

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(315): Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade. http://tfl.nu/7c7r

Replies (2) Good night (139) Bad night (83)
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(727): View more from Florida

Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.

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(727): Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night. http://tfl.nu/kpjy

Replies (0) Good night (50) Bad night (135)
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(619): View more from California

WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY

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(619): WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY http://tfl.nu/oz1u

Replies (0) Good night (140) Bad night (46)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?

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(248): I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right? http://tfl.nu/943w

Replies (0) Good night (110) Bad night (64)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything

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(262): He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything http://tfl.nu/fbmj

Replies (3) Good night (161) Bad night (87)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.

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(775): He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it. http://tfl.nu/n8a8

Replies (2) Good night (146) Bad night (52)
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(425): View more from Washington

Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.

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(425): Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting. http://tfl.nu/at9f

Replies (4) Good night (226) Bad night (54)
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(850): View more from Florida

We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.

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(850): We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces. http://tfl.nu/3d6h

Replies (0) Good night (123) Bad night (56)
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(409): View more from Texas

No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.

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(409): No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups. http://tfl.nu/fjk8

Replies (0) Good night (56) Bad night (171)
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(404): View more from Georgia

well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night

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(404): well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night http://tfl.nu/co00

Replies (1) Good night (56) Bad night (152)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried

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(403): I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried http://tfl.nu/kvp1

Replies (4) Good night (120) Bad night (261)
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(812): View more from Indiana

On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.

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(812): On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond. http://tfl.nu/u4yu

Replies (9) Good night (147) Bad night (296)
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(216): View more from Ohio

Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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(216): Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital. http://tfl.nu/atdl

Replies (6) Good night (113) Bad night (227)
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(805): View more from California

you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends

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(805): you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends http://tfl.nu/d359

Replies (4) Good night (152) Bad night (367)
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(607): View more from New York

I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.

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(607): I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family. http://tfl.nu/8jwq

Replies (0) Good night (181) Bad night (124)

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