Texts From Last Night

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.

(1-262): View more from Wisconsin

Prepare the pitchfork.

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(301): View more from Maryland

We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.

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(650): View more from California

Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?

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(406): View more from Montana

why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving

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(503): View more from Oregon

we're so committed to being not committed

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