I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
dude. I can hear the air.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...