Texts From Last Night

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(850): View more from Florida

My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.

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(850): My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked. http://tfl.nu/758a

Replies (1) Good night (82) Bad night (21)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.

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(734): I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman. http://tfl.nu/y92c

Replies (1) Good night (79) Bad night (26)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.

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(703): I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win. http://tfl.nu/j21s

Replies (2) Good night (113) Bad night (15)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.

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(402): Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so. http://tfl.nu/ydey

Replies (0) Good night (105) Bad night (15)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.

(1-267): View more from Pennsylvania

While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible

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(267): we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights. (1-267): While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible http://tfl.nu/a368

Replies (0) Good night (69) Bad night (37)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches

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(317): I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches http://tfl.nu/0yl0

Replies (0) Good night (79) Bad night (19)
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(509): View more from Washington

I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...

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(509): I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me... http://tfl.nu/geqd

Replies (0) Good night (40) Bad night (50)
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(415): View more from California

A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night

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(415): A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night http://tfl.nu/3le6

Replies (0) Good night (89) Bad night (16)
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(216): View more from Ohio

You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor

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(216): You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor http://tfl.nu/szh1

Replies (0) Good night (60) Bad night (20)
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(847): View more from Illinois

As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.

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(847): As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy. http://tfl.nu/pv6s

Replies (2) Good night (180) Bad night (35)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.

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(703): Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra. http://tfl.nu/n1u2

Replies (0) Good night (89) Bad night (28)
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(478): View more from Georgia

Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip

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(478): Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip http://tfl.nu/4ady

Replies (0) Good night (96) Bad night (16)
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(909): View more from California

When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.

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(909): When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning. http://tfl.nu/6gp1

Replies (0) Good night (63) Bad night (44)
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(347): View more from New York

We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.

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(347): We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is. http://tfl.nu/6ksi

Replies (0) Good night (58) Bad night (30)
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(630): View more from Illinois

YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.

(630): View more from Illinois

you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed

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(630): YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE (1-630): Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down. (630): you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed http://tfl.nu/6tq1

Replies (0) Good night (38) Bad night (137)

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