Texts From Last Night

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.

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(307): I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open. http://tfl.nu/7eks

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(425): View more from Washington

But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture

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(425): But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture http://tfl.nu/bm5g

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(214): View more from Texas

WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO

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(214): WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO http://tfl.nu/p2cw

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(425): View more from Washington

I guess I'm open to more types of dick now

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(425): I guess I'm open to more types of dick now http://tfl.nu/myaz

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.

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(479): Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing. http://tfl.nu/uted

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(775): View more from Nevada

I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do

(1-775): View more from Nevada

So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.

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(775): I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do (1-775): So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch. http://tfl.nu/xajs

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.

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(781): I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups. http://tfl.nu/fsmw

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.

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(978): We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement. http://tfl.nu/az5f

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(314): View more from Missouri

Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.

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(314): Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl. http://tfl.nu/hntx

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(515): View more from Iowa

Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day

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(515): Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day http://tfl.nu/z36i

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?

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(218): Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young? http://tfl.nu/34pp

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Well I just put wine in my tea

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(651): Well I just put wine in my tea http://tfl.nu/sol7

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(541): View more from Oregon

People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.

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(541): People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized. http://tfl.nu/aj4f

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.

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(615): Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast. http://tfl.nu/ki2v

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(678): View more from Georgia

The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny

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(678): The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny http://tfl.nu/ejq7

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