How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
