Texts From Last Night

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(716): View more from New York

forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless

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(716): forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless http://tfl.nu/m12g

Replies (1) Good night (114) Bad night (41)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck

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(630): I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck http://tfl.nu/zw8y

Replies (1) Good night (128) Bad night (40)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.

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(704): I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire. http://tfl.nu/enf2

Replies (1) Good night (51) Bad night (111)
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(518): View more from New York

She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.

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(518): She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER. http://tfl.nu/3q3w

Replies (0) Good night (56) Bad night (114)
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(801): View more from Utah

My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.

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(801): My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company. http://tfl.nu/z43d

Replies (0) Good night (53) Bad night (91)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me

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(847): Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me http://tfl.nu/jbk0

Replies (0) Good night (47) Bad night (83)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening

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(508): I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening http://tfl.nu/7pf2

Replies (0) Good night (110) Bad night (40)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.

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(763): I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation. http://tfl.nu/r60z

Replies (0) Good night (153) Bad night (35)
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(216): View more from Ohio

I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.

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(216): I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time. http://tfl.nu/gxl7

Replies (0) Good night (77) Bad night (85)
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(516): View more from New York

mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?

(1-516): View more from New York

all of them.

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(516): mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs? (1-516): all of them. http://tfl.nu/l17j

Replies (2) Good night (273) Bad night (48)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line

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(973): I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line http://tfl.nu/0x46

Replies (0) Good night (125) Bad night (48)
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(917): View more from New York City

I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot

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(917): I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot http://tfl.nu/xzbl

Replies (0) Good night (57) Bad night (91)
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(516): View more from New York

Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"

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(516): Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?" http://tfl.nu/n5f6

Replies (0) Good night (134) Bad night (48)
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(390): View more from

She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.

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(390): She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it. http://tfl.nu/hfa4

Replies (0) Good night (123) Bad night (42)
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(904): View more from Florida

UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY

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(904): UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY http://tfl.nu/1tru

Replies (3) Good night (137) Bad night (75)

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