Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.