Texts From Last Night

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(757): View more from Virginia

So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.

(757): View more from Virginia

i mean i let him but still...

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(757): So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet. (757): i mean i let him but still... http://tfl.nu/w6qm

Replies (0) Good night (0) Bad night (0)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE

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(803): Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE http://tfl.nu/rt74

Replies (0) Good night (8) Bad night (12)
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(956): View more from Texas

I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.

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(956): I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night. http://tfl.nu/cx0y

Replies (0) Good night (15) Bad night (14)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...

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(859): I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint... http://tfl.nu/nvoy

Replies (2) Good night (27) Bad night (37)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.

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(604): Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day. http://tfl.nu/pwtj

Replies (0) Good night (21) Bad night (29)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos

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(262): I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos http://tfl.nu/7sym

Replies (0) Good night (10) Bad night (12)
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(936): View more from Texas

There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol

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(936): There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol http://tfl.nu/zyck

Replies (2) Good night (38) Bad night (31)
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(630): View more from Illinois

The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?

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(630): The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming? http://tfl.nu/32bs

Replies (1) Good night (24) Bad night (31)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.

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(319): Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero. http://tfl.nu/gstb

Replies (0) Good night (72) Bad night (38)
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(212): View more from New York

He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?

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(212): He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn? http://tfl.nu/0euf

Replies (0) Good night (84) Bad night (36)
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(540): View more from Virginia

The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.

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(540): The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it. http://tfl.nu/w84l

Replies (0) Good night (52) Bad night (80)
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(815): View more from Illinois

So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.

(815): View more from Illinois

Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.

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(815): So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit. (815): Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message. http://tfl.nu/tst8

Replies (0) Good night (70) Bad night (49)
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(847): View more from Illinois

He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...

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(847): He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose... http://tfl.nu/uj3n

Replies (1) Good night (89) Bad night (68)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card

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(217): I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card http://tfl.nu/8646

Replies (0) Good night (262) Bad night (118)
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(406): View more from Montana

Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.

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(406): Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility. http://tfl.nu/8bx1

Replies (1) Good night (252) Bad night (133)

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