Texts From Last Night

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off

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(401): i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off http://tfl.nu/b0hl

Replies (1) Good night (68) Bad night (63)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.

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(920): I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad. http://tfl.nu/b7v4

Replies (0) Good night (68) Bad night (57)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....

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(416): Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat.... http://tfl.nu/xy0p

Replies (0) Good night (58) Bad night (88)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex

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(+44): Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex http://tfl.nu/fkis

Replies (0) Good night (92) Bad night (55)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.

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(804): Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win. http://tfl.nu/vse3

Replies (0) Good night (103) Bad night (46)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0

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(252): Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0 http://tfl.nu/k7y9

Replies (0) Good night (70) Bad night (49)
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(716): View more from New York

tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"

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(716): tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered" http://tfl.nu/w7hl

Replies (0) Good night (84) Bad night (53)
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(905): View more from Ontario

downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.

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(905): downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade. http://tfl.nu/mls1

Replies (0) Good night (131) Bad night (63)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?

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(612): My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right? http://tfl.nu/aroa

Replies (0) Good night (94) Bad night (58)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago

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(440): Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago http://tfl.nu/7mtt

Replies (0) Good night (95) Bad night (87)
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(276): View more from Virginia

LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.

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(276): LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything. http://tfl.nu/o8kx

Replies (0) Good night (95) Bad night (68)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.

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(617): Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/vcwg

Replies (7) Good night (93) Bad night (115)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.

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(902): It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch. http://tfl.nu/pix9

Replies (0) Good night (102) Bad night (77)
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(301): View more from Maryland

there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?

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(301): there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night? http://tfl.nu/hxw0

Replies (0) Good night (126) Bad night (88)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.

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(501): If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you. http://tfl.nu/0j48

Replies (0) Good night (116) Bad night (140)

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