Texts From Last Night

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(732): View more from New Jersey

The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.

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(732): The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack. http://tfl.nu/qgyn

Replies (0) Good night (5) Bad night (4) Order T-Shirt
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(850): View more from Florida

Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.

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(850): Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore. http://tfl.nu/g2ed

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(734): View more from Michigan

You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.

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(734): You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them. http://tfl.nu/p5zk

Replies (0) Good night (11) Bad night (20)
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(314): View more from Missouri

My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.

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(314): My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis. http://tfl.nu/6np1

Replies (1) Good night (18) Bad night (25) Order T-Shirt
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind

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(651): I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind http://tfl.nu/rbfo

Replies (0) Good night (15) Bad night (21) Order T-Shirt
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(330): View more from Ohio

Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.

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(330): Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative. http://tfl.nu/cyri

Replies (1) Good night (24) Bad night (22) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.

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(513): So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time. http://tfl.nu/30oo

Replies (0) Good night (11) Bad night (23) Order T-Shirt
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.

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(920): If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it. http://tfl.nu/moud

Replies (2) Good night (57) Bad night (23) Order T-Shirt
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.

(662): View more from Mississippi

Did you at least offer to let him get it out??

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(901): I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment. (662): Did you at least offer to let him get it out?? http://tfl.nu/gv0l

Replies (1) Good night (59) Bad night (19)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset

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(262): Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset http://tfl.nu/8p8i

Replies (7) Good night (432) Bad night (91) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?

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(773): Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT? http://tfl.nu/k7sq

Replies (7) Good night (298) Bad night (99) Order T-Shirt
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?

(843): View more from South Carolina

Maybe

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(843): Bring a bathing suit and your good liver. (1-843): My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice? (843): Maybe http://tfl.nu/53dg

Replies (3) Good night (407) Bad night (76)
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(641): View more from Iowa

He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?

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(641): He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy? http://tfl.nu/tf1s

Replies (2) Good night (208) Bad night (268) Order T-Shirt
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(925): View more from California

i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.

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(925): i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking. http://tfl.nu/rb0f

Replies (5) Good night (464) Bad night (117) Order T-Shirt
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(516): View more from New York

Come through the front door when you get here.

(1-516): View more from New York

Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.

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(516): Come through the front door when you get here. (1-516): Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window. http://tfl.nu/uers

Replies (4) Good night (359) Bad night (79) Order T-Shirt

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