Texts From Last Night

Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb http://tfl.nu/o9bf

Replies (3) Good night (109) Bad night (51)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine http://tfl.nu/mjql

Replies (1) Good night (175) Bad night (26)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer http://tfl.nu/n19g

Replies (1) Good night (125) Bad night (27)
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid http://tfl.nu/g878

Replies (1) Good night (76) Bad night (20)
Favorite
(773): View more from Illinois

Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(773): Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was. http://tfl.nu/w7or

Replies (1) Good night (33) Bad night (110)
Favorite
(865): View more from Tennessee

It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(865): It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor. http://tfl.nu/reiq

Replies (1) Good night (122) Bad night (34)
Favorite
(973): View more from New Jersey

What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(973): What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab? http://tfl.nu/zbqy

Replies (1) Good night (35) Bad night (90)
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool. http://tfl.nu/i3zt

Replies (1) Good night (182) Bad night (18)
Favorite
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(306): I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is. http://tfl.nu/s694

Replies (0) Good night (140) Bad night (20)
Favorite
(708): View more from Illinois

i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(708): i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex. http://tfl.nu/k4pn

Replies (1) Good night (98) Bad night (18)
Favorite
(307): View more from Wyoming

I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(307): I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake. http://tfl.nu/jx5x

Replies (1) Good night (86) Bad night (19)
Favorite
(864): View more from South Carolina

Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(864): Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work. http://tfl.nu/6q50

Replies (1) Good night (87) Bad night (30)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn. http://tfl.nu/m7kq

Replies (3) Good night (139) Bad night (33)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard http://tfl.nu/ezwk

Replies (0) Good night (103) Bad night (18)
Favorite
(407): View more from Florida

I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(407): I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude http://tfl.nu/p3sw

Replies (1) Good night (53) Bad night (125)

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard