Texts From Last Night

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(512): View more from Texas

This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's

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(512): This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's http://tfl.nu/e5h3

Replies (0) Good night (12) Bad night (12)
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(316): View more from Kansas

So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.

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(316): So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory. http://tfl.nu/2ivk

Replies (0) Good night (20) Bad night (18)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn

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(603): This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn http://tfl.nu/xvco

Replies (0) Good night (28) Bad night (26)
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(212): View more from New York

Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging

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(212): Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging http://tfl.nu/88q4

Replies (0) Good night (26) Bad night (31)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.

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(412): because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers. http://tfl.nu/qx0c

Replies (0) Good night (34) Bad night (36)
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(916): View more from California

An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.

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(916): An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES. http://tfl.nu/fy5b

Replies (0) Good night (37) Bad night (34)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?

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(732): if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire? http://tfl.nu/mryp

Replies (0) Good night (40) Bad night (35)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself

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(303): I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself http://tfl.nu/1rx8

Replies (0) Good night (44) Bad night (37)
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(008): View more from

I think your husband is breaking up with me...

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(008): I think your husband is breaking up with me... http://tfl.nu/csj6

Replies (3) Good night (133) Bad night (277)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.

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(205): Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax. http://tfl.nu/u4t8

Replies (1) Good night (136) Bad night (115)
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(989): View more from Michigan

dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw

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(989): dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw http://tfl.nu/cvdu

Replies (2) Good night (207) Bad night (105)
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(716): View more from New York

You're about wine.

(585): View more from New York

Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment

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(716): You're about wine. (585): Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment http://tfl.nu/179v

Replies (0) Good night (215) Bad night (71)
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(361): View more from Texas

My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.

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(361): My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life. http://tfl.nu/e22l

Replies (14) Good night (100) Bad night (450)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.

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(870): You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it. http://tfl.nu/7wns

Replies (4) Good night (276) Bad night (96)
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(917): View more from New York City

You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.

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(917): You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude. http://tfl.nu/0uba

Replies (0) Good night (180) Bad night (117)

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