We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.