Texts From Last Night

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING

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(320): I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING http://tfl.nu/fcp6

Replies (0) Good night (0) Bad night (0)
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(845): View more from New York

You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.

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(845): You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts. http://tfl.nu/ido5

Replies (0) Good night (10) Bad night (9)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.

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(802): I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower. http://tfl.nu/ep1t

Replies (0) Good night (4) Bad night (4)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?

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(612): Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe? http://tfl.nu/94og

Replies (0) Good night (16) Bad night (12)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring

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(610): I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring http://tfl.nu/xbtn

Replies (0) Good night (30) Bad night (25)
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(425): View more from Washington

He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.

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(425): He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth. http://tfl.nu/g2az

Replies (4) Good night (144) Bad night (313)
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(713): View more from Texas

You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that

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(713): You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that http://tfl.nu/hi6n

Replies (3) Good night (136) Bad night (334)
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(915): View more from Texas

Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please

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(915): Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please http://tfl.nu/0pza

Replies (0) Good night (224) Bad night (99)
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(440): View more from Ohio

my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.

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(440): my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness. http://tfl.nu/lky4

Replies (2) Good night (289) Bad night (104)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.

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(701): Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5. http://tfl.nu/g6zt

Replies (3) Good night (118) Bad night (426)
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(256): View more from Alabama

We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?

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(256): We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break? http://tfl.nu/kbd5

Replies (1) Good night (224) Bad night (111)
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(303): View more from Colorado

And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink

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(303): And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink http://tfl.nu/e5yq

Replies (0) Good night (133) Bad night (194)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay

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(402): why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay http://tfl.nu/d49s

Replies (2) Good night (104) Bad night (297)
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(903): View more from Texas

he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.

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(903): he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka. http://tfl.nu/ebtf

Replies (0) Good night (218) Bad night (107)
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(630): View more from Illinois

The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"

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(630): The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card" http://tfl.nu/vfda

Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (108)

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