ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
29 People Reveal the Darkest Family Secrets They Ever Discovered
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
15+ Celebrities From Your Childhood Who Got Hit Hard By Puberty
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
