I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
