According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Shame is for Republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.