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    (925): View more from California

    i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.

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    Replies (0) Good night (5) Bad night (6) Order T-Shirt
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    (516): View more from New York

    Come through the front door when you get here.

    (1-516): View more from New York

    Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.

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    Replies (0) Good night (17) Bad night (5) Order T-Shirt
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    (+44): View more from United Kingdom

    Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?

    (1+44): View more from

    Which pub are you in?

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    Replies (0) Good night (38) Bad night (12) Order T-Shirt
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    (306): View more from Saskatchewan

    dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"

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    Replies (0) Good night (43) Bad night (17) Order T-Shirt
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    (256): View more from Alabama

    Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.

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    Replies (1) Good night (69) Bad night (5) Order T-Shirt
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    (818): View more from California

    Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.

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    Replies (1) Good night (43) Bad night (9) Order T-Shirt
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    (705): View more from Ontario

    We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass

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    Replies (0) Good night (50) Bad night (15) Order T-Shirt
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    (484): View more from Pennsylvania

    There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke

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    Replies (1) Good night (32) Bad night (74) Order T-Shirt
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    (647): View more from Ontario

    Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm

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    (434): View more from Virginia

    Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night

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    (434): View more from Virginia

    I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time

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    Replies (1) Good night (41) Bad night (79) Order T-Shirt
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    (+61): View more from Australia

    You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.

    (1+61): View more from

    Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?

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    Replies (3) Good night (266) Bad night (14)
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    (416): View more from Toronto

    Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding

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    Replies (0) Good night (60) Bad night (22) Order T-Shirt
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    (240): View more from Maryland

    Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you

    (1-240): View more from Maryland

    Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina

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    Replies (4) Good night (288) Bad night (28)
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    (512): View more from Texas

    things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"

    (210): View more from Texas

    I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.

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    Replies (2) Good night (85) Bad night (23)
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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