He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%