I'm having to shit out rocks
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I think I just sharted jello shots
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
