Texts From Last Night

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(760): View more from California

Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.

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(760): Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick. http://tfl.nu/b7j5

Replies (0) Good night (0) Bad night (0)
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(585): View more from New York

Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!

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(585): Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?! http://tfl.nu/3ugm

Replies (0) Good night (9) Bad night (7)
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(916): View more from California

I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.

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(916): I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings. http://tfl.nu/ki9y

Replies (0) Good night (13) Bad night (13)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?

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(715): So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities? http://tfl.nu/h2if

Replies (0) Good night (21) Bad night (18)
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(713): View more from Texas

Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout

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(713): Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout http://tfl.nu/4b12

Replies (0) Good night (25) Bad night (32)
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(561): View more from Florida

P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex

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(561): P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex http://tfl.nu/zcn5

Replies (0) Good night (37) Bad night (33)
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(818): View more from California

Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time

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(818): Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time http://tfl.nu/345f

Replies (0) Good night (36) Bad night (40)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?

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(215): What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"? http://tfl.nu/jmdv

Replies (1) Good night (38) Bad night (42)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.

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(250): I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay. http://tfl.nu/u9js

Replies (2) Good night (255) Bad night (134)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands

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(610): This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands http://tfl.nu/sjql

Replies (2) Good night (94) Bad night (190)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.

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(204): As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry. http://tfl.nu/4c2f

Replies (0) Good night (227) Bad night (108)
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(210): View more from Texas

It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.

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(210): It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings. http://tfl.nu/yuk8

Replies (0) Good night (182) Bad night (79)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.

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(307): "Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top. http://tfl.nu/hyqb

Replies (0) Good night (240) Bad night (78)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling

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(724): Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling http://tfl.nu/ere5

Replies (0) Good night (208) Bad night (99)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.

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(781): I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt. http://tfl.nu/aqol

Replies (2) Good night (89) Bad night (169)

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