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i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
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