Texts From Last Night

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(513): View more from Ohio

I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb

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(513): I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb http://tfl.nu/o9bf

Replies (0) Good night (32) Bad night (20)
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(303): View more from Colorado

you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine

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(303): you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine http://tfl.nu/mjql

Replies (1) Good night (56) Bad night (10)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer

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(732): That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer http://tfl.nu/n19g

Replies (0) Good night (39) Bad night (8)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid

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(717): By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid http://tfl.nu/g878

Replies (0) Good night (24) Bad night (9)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.

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(773): Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was. http://tfl.nu/w7or

Replies (1) Good night (12) Bad night (38)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.

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(865): It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor. http://tfl.nu/reiq

Replies (1) Good night (35) Bad night (23)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?

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(973): What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab? http://tfl.nu/zbqy

Replies (1) Good night (14) Bad night (32)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.

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(832): He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool. http://tfl.nu/i3zt

Replies (0) Good night (62) Bad night (12)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.

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(306): I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is. http://tfl.nu/s694

Replies (0) Good night (47) Bad night (8)
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(708): View more from Illinois

i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.

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(708): i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex. http://tfl.nu/k4pn

Replies (0) Good night (40) Bad night (6)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.

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(307): I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake. http://tfl.nu/jx5x

Replies (0) Good night (37) Bad night (9)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.

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(864): Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work. http://tfl.nu/6q50

Replies (1) Good night (34) Bad night (12)
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(630): View more from Illinois

He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.

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(630): He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn. http://tfl.nu/m7kq

Replies (0) Good night (47) Bad night (13)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard

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(732): We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard http://tfl.nu/ezwk

Replies (0) Good night (37) Bad night (9)
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(407): View more from Florida

I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude

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(407): I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude http://tfl.nu/p3sw

Replies (1) Good night (22) Bad night (51)

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