Texts From Last Night

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?

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(850): View more from Florida

I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

you never keep up with shots anymore

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm trying to be more responsible these days

(918): View more from Oklahoma

you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot

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