Texts From Last Night

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.

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(862): Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued. http://tfl.nu/kpbb

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended

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(414): Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended http://tfl.nu/wygn

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(571): View more from Virginia

Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?

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(571): Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you? http://tfl.nu/rje6

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life

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(787): The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life http://tfl.nu/y1id

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(616): View more from Michigan

I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now

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(616): I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now http://tfl.nu/th7d

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(718): View more from New York

We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas

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(718): We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas http://tfl.nu/oj71

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(734): View more from Michigan

When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.

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(734): When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office. http://tfl.nu/5u6k

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(843): View more from South Carolina

A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.

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(843): A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's. http://tfl.nu/m6a2

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(613): View more from Ontario

Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??

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(613): Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea?? http://tfl.nu/5r0c

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(252): View more from North Carolina

We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.

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(252): We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day. http://tfl.nu/bkmj

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(417): View more from Missouri

I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.

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(417): I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow. http://tfl.nu/poey

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(971): View more from Oregon

you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON

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(971): you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON http://tfl.nu/6e6p

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas

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(303): I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas http://tfl.nu/dh3n

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(417): View more from Missouri

Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."

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(417): Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS." http://tfl.nu/riik

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night

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(717): i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night http://tfl.nu/ncnb

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