His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I did not marry a roomba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me