My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle