Texts From Last Night

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(989): View more from Michigan

She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.

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(989): She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do. http://tfl.nu/3jaz

Replies (0) Good night (125) Bad night (24)
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(530): View more from California

Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.

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(530): Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out. http://tfl.nu/3l6o

Replies (3) Good night (132) Bad night (26)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"

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(724): A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me" http://tfl.nu/trq4

Replies (1) Good night (154) Bad night (28)
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(561): View more from Florida

I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will

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(561): I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will http://tfl.nu/x78m

Replies (0) Good night (71) Bad night (27)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.

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(503): I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor. http://tfl.nu/j2x4

Replies (2) Good night (93) Bad night (41)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.

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(413): We need to stop going on dates to the strip club. http://tfl.nu/e1ke

Replies (2) Good night (107) Bad night (35)
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(561): View more from Florida

Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.

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(561): Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work. http://tfl.nu/zevl

Replies (2) Good night (88) Bad night (40)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out

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(605): Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out http://tfl.nu/kg6k

Replies (1) Good night (182) Bad night (20)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.

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(413): Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten. http://tfl.nu/8dnp

Replies (0) Good night (107) Bad night (26)
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(510): View more from California

I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.

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(510): I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life. http://tfl.nu/u94a

Replies (1) Good night (91) Bad night (51)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.

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(336): My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly. http://tfl.nu/p75k

Replies (3) Good night (32) Bad night (123)
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(905): View more from Ontario

Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?

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(905): Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid? http://tfl.nu/amx6

Replies (0) Good night (133) Bad night (28)
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(206): View more from Washington

She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.

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(206): She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes. http://tfl.nu/c6ex

Replies (6) Good night (167) Bad night (40)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?

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(304): Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina? http://tfl.nu/ly25

Replies (5) Good night (89) Bad night (222)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.

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(410): I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket. http://tfl.nu/j5lv

Replies (2) Good night (197) Bad night (89)

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