We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.