Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap