I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”