Texts From Last Night

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(678): View more from Georgia

Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.

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(678): Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us. http://tfl.nu/s60g

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(456): View more from

ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.

(345): View more from Cayman Islands

I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for

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(456): ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will. (345): I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for http://tfl.nu/636s

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.

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(+44): I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it. http://tfl.nu/3p08

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful

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(479): I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful http://tfl.nu/aa2n

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(505): View more from New Mexico

The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons

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(505): The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons http://tfl.nu/5vuo

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(740): View more from Ohio

almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.

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(740): almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost. http://tfl.nu/dg9p

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!

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(608): He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over! http://tfl.nu/3er6

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone

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(732): I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone http://tfl.nu/o83q

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard

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(248): I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard http://tfl.nu/xcsw

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(708): View more from Illinois

honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month

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(708): honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month http://tfl.nu/5sc5

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(815): View more from Illinois

not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story

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(815): not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story http://tfl.nu/tzip

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.

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(717): Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models. http://tfl.nu/suoj

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall

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(267): just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall http://tfl.nu/hcmp

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.

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(321): Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information. http://tfl.nu/0kv6

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(909): View more from California

WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.

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(909): WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything. http://tfl.nu/do9j

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