You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
