Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
