Texts From Last Night

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(416): View more from Toronto

Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR

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(416): Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR http://tfl.nu/4v5r

Replies (1) Good night (49) Bad night (35)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf

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(781): Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf http://tfl.nu/hqdc

Replies (0) Good night (77) Bad night (49)
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(416): View more from Toronto

i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order

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(416): i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order http://tfl.nu/07m4

Replies (1) Good night (101) Bad night (40)
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(518): View more from New York

I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing

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(518): I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing http://tfl.nu/06p1

Replies (0) Good night (82) Bad night (40)
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(757): View more from Virginia

So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.

(757): View more from Virginia

i mean i let him but still...

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(757): So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet. (757): i mean i let him but still... http://tfl.nu/w6qm

Replies (0) Good night (73) Bad night (56)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE

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(803): Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE http://tfl.nu/rt74

Replies (2) Good night (74) Bad night (137)
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(956): View more from Texas

I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.

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(956): I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night. http://tfl.nu/cx0y

Replies (1) Good night (60) Bad night (57)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...

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(859): I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint... http://tfl.nu/nvoy

Replies (2) Good night (78) Bad night (192)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.

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(604): Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day. http://tfl.nu/pwtj

Replies (0) Good night (62) Bad night (75)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos

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(262): I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos http://tfl.nu/7sym

Replies (0) Good night (58) Bad night (54)
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(936): View more from Texas

There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol

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(936): There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol http://tfl.nu/zyck

Replies (3) Good night (103) Bad night (74)
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(630): View more from Illinois

The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?

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(630): The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming? http://tfl.nu/32bs

Replies (1) Good night (84) Bad night (78)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.

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(319): Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero. http://tfl.nu/gstb

Replies (0) Good night (165) Bad night (61)
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(212): View more from New York

He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?

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(212): He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn? http://tfl.nu/0euf

Replies (0) Good night (180) Bad night (56)
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(540): View more from Virginia

The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.

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(540): The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it. http://tfl.nu/w84l

Replies (0) Good night (86) Bad night (150)

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