she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
