Texts From Last Night

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today

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(+44): If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today http://tfl.nu/7pvc

Replies (1) Good night (50) Bad night (10)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.

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(815): I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home. http://tfl.nu/56vm

Replies (0) Good night (35) Bad night (9)
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(765): View more from Indiana

A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase

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(765): A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase http://tfl.nu/vp0d

Replies (0) Good night (31) Bad night (33)
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(330): View more from Ohio

It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.

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(330): It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts. http://tfl.nu/q282

Replies (0) Good night (42) Bad night (14)
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(456): View more from

It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...

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(456): It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together... http://tfl.nu/cfxq

Replies (1) Good night (66) Bad night (10)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.

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(604): What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet. http://tfl.nu/drqh

Replies (1) Good night (54) Bad night (12)
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(325): View more from Texas

I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.

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(325): I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out. http://tfl.nu/ma7w

Replies (0) Good night (49) Bad night (14)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad

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(308): The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad http://tfl.nu/i740

Replies (2) Good night (49) Bad night (17)
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(624): View more from

That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...

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(624): That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship... http://tfl.nu/fo6a

Replies (0) Good night (44) Bad night (12)
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(818): View more from California

I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit

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(818): I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit http://tfl.nu/4a1u

Replies (1) Good night (17) Bad night (67)
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(330): View more from Ohio

There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.

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(330): There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot. http://tfl.nu/lbi3

Replies (1) Good night (43) Bad night (12)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Come share oat with me in your robe

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(715): Come share oat with me in your robe http://tfl.nu/kj0g

Replies (0) Good night (34) Bad night (14)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life

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(517): I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life http://tfl.nu/m711

Replies (0) Good night (43) Bad night (18)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.

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(919): Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though. http://tfl.nu/uj6m

Replies (0) Good night (46) Bad night (11)
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(317): View more from Indiana

He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.

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(317): He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass. http://tfl.nu/vcg7

Replies (0) Good night (44) Bad night (33)

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