Texts From Last Night

Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis. http://tfl.nu/6np1

Replies (0) Good night (0) Bad night (0) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind http://tfl.nu/rbfo

Replies (0) Good night (4) Bad night (7) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(330): View more from Ohio

Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(330): Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative. http://tfl.nu/cyri

Replies (0) Good night (13) Bad night (13) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time. http://tfl.nu/30oo

Replies (0) Good night (6) Bad night (11) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(920): View more from Wisconsin

If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(920): If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it. http://tfl.nu/moud

Replies (2) Good night (36) Bad night (19) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(901): View more from Tennessee

I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.

(662): View more from Mississippi

Did you at least offer to let him get it out??

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(901): I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment. (662): Did you at least offer to let him get it out?? http://tfl.nu/gv0l

Replies (1) Good night (40) Bad night (17)
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset http://tfl.nu/8p8i

Replies (7) Good night (418) Bad night (88) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(773): View more from Illinois

Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(773): Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT? http://tfl.nu/k7sq

Replies (7) Good night (291) Bad night (97) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(843): View more from South Carolina

Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?

(843): View more from South Carolina

Maybe

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(843): Bring a bathing suit and your good liver. (1-843): My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice? (843): Maybe http://tfl.nu/53dg

Replies (3) Good night (396) Bad night (76)
Favorite
(641): View more from Iowa

He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(641): He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy? http://tfl.nu/tf1s

Replies (2) Good night (208) Bad night (260) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(925): View more from California

i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(925): i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking. http://tfl.nu/rb0f

Replies (5) Good night (457) Bad night (116) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

Come through the front door when you get here.

(1-516): View more from New York

Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): Come through the front door when you get here. (1-516): Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window. http://tfl.nu/uers

Replies (4) Good night (354) Bad night (76) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?

(1+44): View more from

Which pub are you in?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon? (1+44): Which pub are you in? http://tfl.nu/p4a0

Replies (5) Good night (355) Bad night (64) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(306): dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high" http://tfl.nu/ssrm

Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (66) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(256): View more from Alabama

Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(256): Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention. http://tfl.nu/44p2

Replies (4) Good night (545) Bad night (72) Order T-Shirt

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: