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    (306): View more from Saskatchewan

    the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water

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    Replies (2) Good night (105) Bad night (118)
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    (216): View more from Ohio

    "Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.

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    Replies (0) Good night (112) Bad night (63)
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    (734): View more from Michigan

    Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint

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    Replies (0) Good night (82) Bad night (35)
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    (252): View more from North Carolina

    You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"

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    Replies (0) Good night (98) Bad night (36)
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    (205): View more from Alabama

    I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.

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    Replies (0) Good night (169) Bad night (29)
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    (308): View more from Nebraska

    No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here

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    Replies (1) Good night (97) Bad night (42)
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    (708): View more from Illinois

    I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.

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    Replies (0) Good night (145) Bad night (44)
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    (585): View more from New York

    who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together

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    Replies (0) Good night (89) Bad night (44)
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    (319): View more from Iowa

    Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store

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    Replies (1) Good night (61) Bad night (90)
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    (613): View more from Ontario

    You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES

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    Replies (2) Good night (210) Bad night (39)
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    (714): View more from California

    I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.

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    Replies (1) Good night (102) Bad night (69)
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    (570): View more from Pennsylvania

    I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere

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    Replies (2) Good night (50) Bad night (155)
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    (801): View more from Utah

    I feel like I have a very capable uterus.

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    Replies (2) Good night (124) Bad night (58)
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    (703): View more from Virginia

    I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.

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    Replies (3) Good night (283) Bad night (76)
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    (810): View more from Michigan

    We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.

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    Replies (0) Good night (175) Bad night (120)
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