Texts From Last Night

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried

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(403): I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried http://tfl.nu/kvp1

Replies (4) Good night (78) Bad night (194)
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(812): View more from Indiana

On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.

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(812): On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond. http://tfl.nu/u4yu

Replies (6) Good night (113) Bad night (224)
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(216): View more from Ohio

Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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(216): Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital. http://tfl.nu/atdl

Replies (5) Good night (91) Bad night (174)
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(805): View more from California

you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends

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(805): you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends http://tfl.nu/d359

Replies (4) Good night (119) Bad night (290)
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(607): View more from New York

I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.

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(607): I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family. http://tfl.nu/8jwq

Replies (0) Good night (141) Bad night (83)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them

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(734): I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them http://tfl.nu/fus3

Replies (1) Good night (145) Bad night (91)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...

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(918): You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza... http://tfl.nu/o125

Replies (2) Good night (197) Bad night (60)
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(857): View more from Massachusetts

You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face

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(857): You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face http://tfl.nu/kc4r

Replies (0) Good night (257) Bad night (62)
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(360): View more from Washington

can I cover your dick in cookie butter?

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(360): can I cover your dick in cookie butter? http://tfl.nu/9ezu

Replies (5) Good night (224) Bad night (69)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter

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(709): Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter http://tfl.nu/qto5

Replies (4) Good night (325) Bad night (62)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.

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(905): I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot. http://tfl.nu/9bpy

Replies (0) Good night (89) Bad night (144)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry

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(920): This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry http://tfl.nu/0lhr

Replies (0) Good night (77) Bad night (158)
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(512): View more from Texas

Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections

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(512): Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections http://tfl.nu/pu70

Replies (2) Good night (78) Bad night (192)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.

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(336): I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now. http://tfl.nu/ru0z

Replies (4) Good night (85) Bad night (303)
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(559): View more from California

You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event

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(559): You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event http://tfl.nu/bllo

Replies (1) Good night (204) Bad night (125)

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