Texts From Last Night

Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!! (202): Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me... http://tfl.nu/al91

Replies (6) Good night (219) Bad night (35)
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine. http://tfl.nu/pta5

Replies (1) Good night (55) Bad night (102) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(707): View more from California

According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.

(253): View more from Washington

You called the wrong number but I salute you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(707): According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground. (253): You called the wrong number but I salute you. http://tfl.nu/npd5

Replies (2) Good night (275) Bad night (26)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Explain the King Dong next to my face.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): Explain the King Dong next to my face. http://tfl.nu/zscw

Replies (1) Good night (88) Bad night (43) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(727): View more from Florida

I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(727): I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon. http://tfl.nu/enfa

Replies (7) Good night (107) Bad night (79)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update http://tfl.nu/adag

Replies (1) Good night (116) Bad night (20) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that http://tfl.nu/zzq0

Replies (5) Good night (330) Bad night (26) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert http://tfl.nu/7kxa

Replies (2) Good night (83) Bad night (59) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(859): View more from Kentucky

Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(859): Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy. http://tfl.nu/uf16

Replies (1) Good night (144) Bad night (36) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers.... http://tfl.nu/sake

Replies (4) Good night (273) Bad night (215)
Favorite
(918): View more from Oklahoma

The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(918): The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo" http://tfl.nu/4ubw

Replies (2) Good night (79) Bad night (32) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success http://tfl.nu/u4l1

Replies (1) Good night (183) Bad night (46) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing http://tfl.nu/v3ef

Replies (0) Good night (83) Bad night (37) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(318): View more from Louisiana

Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(318): Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home. http://tfl.nu/6de1

Replies (0) Good night (162) Bad night (34) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(727): View more from Florida

I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(727): I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult. http://tfl.nu/f77x

Replies (2) Good night (164) Bad night (104) Order T-Shirt

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: