i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.