Texts From Last Night

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(716): View more from New York

I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.

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(716): I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that. http://tfl.nu/47rs

Replies (0) Good night (0) Bad night (0)
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(562): View more from California

I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.

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(562): I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me. http://tfl.nu/3e35

Replies (0) Good night (4) Bad night (1)
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(773): View more from Illinois

There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.

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(773): There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church. http://tfl.nu/aslp

Replies (0) Good night (12) Bad night (3)
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(323): View more from California

I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.

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(323): I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark. http://tfl.nu/y5i1

Replies (0) Good night (13) Bad night (5)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer

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(770): I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer http://tfl.nu/8rgu

Replies (0) Good night (14) Bad night (11)
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(217): View more from Illinois

You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.

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(217): You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me. http://tfl.nu/hr0g

Replies (0) Good night (35) Bad night (18)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!

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(404): Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?! http://tfl.nu/p40q

Replies (0) Good night (44) Bad night (25)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.

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(808): In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it. http://tfl.nu/3ucc

Replies (4) Good night (119) Bad night (147)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate

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(570): The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate http://tfl.nu/e7xr

Replies (2) Good night (215) Bad night (104)
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(905): View more from Ontario

You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..

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(905): You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr.. http://tfl.nu/wzin

Replies (1) Good night (117) Bad night (209)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".

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(309): Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space". http://tfl.nu/0b3b

Replies (1) Good night (167) Bad night (132)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.

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(937): Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment. http://tfl.nu/z1fq

Replies (2) Good night (182) Bad night (138)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

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(615): IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME! http://tfl.nu/omc2

Replies (2) Good night (210) Bad night (93)
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(425): View more from Washington

My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked

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(425): My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked http://tfl.nu/kxqx

Replies (1) Good night (126) Bad night (189)
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(530): View more from California

He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday

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(530): He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday http://tfl.nu/dy0x

Replies (0) Good night (237) Bad night (83)

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