Texts From Last Night

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(206): View more from Washington

Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out

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(206): Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out http://tfl.nu/3o9i

Replies (0) Good night (126) Bad night (96)
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(630): View more from Illinois

oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

I NEED to hang out with you more

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(630): oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra. (1-630): I NEED to hang out with you more http://tfl.nu/k66v

Replies (2) Good night (198) Bad night (79)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything

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(603): Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything http://tfl.nu/pfkq

Replies (3) Good night (125) Bad night (272)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.

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(973): He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs. http://tfl.nu/qrtw

Replies (2) Good night (151) Bad night (94)
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(513): View more from Ohio

DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.

(504): View more from Louisiana

NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS

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(513): DIBS ON THE NEW GUY. (504): NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS http://tfl.nu/z4ea

Replies (1) Good night (234) Bad night (73)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti

(615): View more from Tennessee

That's what happens when you party with the tribe

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(908): All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti (615): That's what happens when you party with the tribe http://tfl.nu/pa7a

Replies (0) Good night (195) Bad night (73)
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(616): View more from Michigan

You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.

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(616): You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina. http://tfl.nu/i89m

Replies (0) Good night (137) Bad night (94)
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(760): View more from California

Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.

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(760): Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick. http://tfl.nu/b7j5

Replies (1) Good night (269) Bad night (73)
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(585): View more from New York

Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!

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(585): Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?! http://tfl.nu/3ugm

Replies (2) Good night (180) Bad night (63)
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(916): View more from California

I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.

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(916): I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings. http://tfl.nu/ki9y

Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (76)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?

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(715): So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities? http://tfl.nu/h2if

Replies (2) Good night (353) Bad night (66)
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(713): View more from Texas

Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout

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(713): Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout http://tfl.nu/4b12

Replies (1) Good night (112) Bad night (165)
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(561): View more from Florida

P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex

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(561): P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex http://tfl.nu/zcn5

Replies (2) Good night (213) Bad night (66)
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(818): View more from California

Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time

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(818): Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time http://tfl.nu/345f

Replies (1) Good night (185) Bad night (111)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?

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(215): What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"? http://tfl.nu/jmdv

Replies (8) Good night (130) Bad night (210)

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