Texts From Last Night

Favorite
(804): View more from Virginia

Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(804): Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal. http://tfl.nu/5gs5

Replies (1) Good night (66) Bad night (37)
Favorite
(740): View more from Ohio

I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(740): I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore http://tfl.nu/8kqe

Replies (1) Good night (61) Bad night (42)
Favorite
(423): View more from Tennessee

That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(423): That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator. http://tfl.nu/o4y1

Replies (0) Good night (48) Bad night (52)
Favorite
(519): View more from Ontario

Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(519): Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom. http://tfl.nu/2pht

Replies (1) Good night (86) Bad night (45)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff. http://tfl.nu/4dhc

Replies (1) Good night (64) Bad night (52)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me http://tfl.nu/ggvm

Replies (0) Good night (79) Bad night (47)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup. http://tfl.nu/bsru

Replies (0) Good night (63) Bad night (55)
Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink. http://tfl.nu/8c1k

Replies (0) Good night (66) Bad night (58)
Favorite
(641): View more from Iowa

Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.

(641): View more from Iowa

I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(641): Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground. (641): I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall. http://tfl.nu/v6jy

Replies (0) Good night (62) Bad night (52)
Favorite
(718): View more from New York

Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(718): Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again. http://tfl.nu/lmop

Replies (1) Good night (57) Bad night (83)
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero http://tfl.nu/isds

Replies (0) Good night (90) Bad night (50)
Favorite
(510): View more from California

How is your new roommate working out

(415): View more from California

We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(510): How is your new roommate working out (415): We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good. http://tfl.nu/gu53

Replies (1) Good night (99) Bad night (47)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him. http://tfl.nu/x1lw

Replies (1) Good night (215) Bad night (127)
Favorite
(510): View more from California

Naked. naked and bneed help.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(510): Naked. naked and bneed help. http://tfl.nu/5da4

Replies (0) Good night (129) Bad night (184)
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this. http://tfl.nu/0s3c

Replies (0) Good night (165) Bad night (130)

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: