Texts From Last Night

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(816): View more from Missouri

It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.

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(816): It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do. http://tfl.nu/e4al

Replies (12) Good night (272) Bad night (102)
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(806): View more from Texas

Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.

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(806): Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment. http://tfl.nu/1xps

Replies (5) Good night (315) Bad night (42) Order T-Shirt
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(253): View more from Washington

I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year

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(253): I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year http://tfl.nu/c4bo

Replies (2) Good night (113) Bad night (86) Order T-Shirt
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(914): View more from New York

So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED

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(914): So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED http://tfl.nu/nbqu

Replies (5) Good night (95) Bad night (136) Order T-Shirt
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(614): View more from Ohio

I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.

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(614): I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/welf

Replies (4) Good night (248) Bad night (108) Order T-Shirt
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(253): View more from Washington

Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"

(425): View more from Washington

You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk

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(253): Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?" (425): You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk http://tfl.nu/1uaf

Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (43)
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(325): View more from Texas

She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.

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(325): She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin. http://tfl.nu/rsir

Replies (7) Good night (260) Bad night (115) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.

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(310): I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/rytq

Replies (3) Good night (223) Bad night (55) Order T-Shirt
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka

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(479): Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka http://tfl.nu/t2p9

Replies (0) Good night (175) Bad night (47) Order T-Shirt
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."

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(610): You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would." http://tfl.nu/q6wg

Replies (0) Good night (236) Bad night (42) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes

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(970): Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes http://tfl.nu/j9tk

Replies (5) Good night (552) Bad night (66) Order T-Shirt
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Happy you have kids and I don't day!

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(262): Happy you have kids and I don't day! http://tfl.nu/yzfq

Replies (3) Good night (315) Bad night (32) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Whore are you.

(301): View more from Maryland

Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Yes.

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(202): Whore are you. (301): Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am? (202): Yes. http://tfl.nu/xx42

Replies (1) Good night (507) Bad night (37)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.

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(814): I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless. http://tfl.nu/288b

Replies (1) Good night (78) Bad night (123) Order T-Shirt
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(315): View more from New York

He tried to tip me with his police badge...

(1-315): View more from New York

and you didn't accept WHY?!

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(315): He tried to tip me with his police badge... (1-315): and you didn't accept WHY?! http://tfl.nu/ie3g

Replies (1) Good night (267) Bad night (113) Order T-Shirt

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