Lo siento on account of my penis...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed