Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
