Texts From Last Night

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?

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(405): My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why? http://tfl.nu/d284

Replies (0) Good night (0) Bad night (0)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious

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(250): Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious http://tfl.nu/wchz

Replies (0) Good night (1) Bad night (2)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol

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(702): I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol http://tfl.nu/mejo

Replies (0) Good night (87) Bad night (204)
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(646): View more from New York

he was definitely tindering while i gave him head

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(646): he was definitely tindering while i gave him head http://tfl.nu/dzhu

Replies (2) Good night (84) Bad night (360)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??

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(814): What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares?? http://tfl.nu/za5w

Replies (8) Good night (105) Bad night (391)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.

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(504): He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes. http://tfl.nu/za97

Replies (0) Good night (147) Bad night (75)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?

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(443): Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test? http://tfl.nu/y1t4

Replies (1) Good night (68) Bad night (182)
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(816): View more from Missouri

She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray

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(816): She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray http://tfl.nu/aoxt

Replies (5) Good night (301) Bad night (56)
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(419): View more from Ohio

He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge

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(419): He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge http://tfl.nu/86hl

Replies (2) Good night (79) Bad night (192)
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(619): View more from California

You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.

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(619): You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off. http://tfl.nu/vzep

Replies (1) Good night (77) Bad night (177)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog

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(701): I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog http://tfl.nu/mfuj

Replies (1) Good night (180) Bad night (62)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed

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(856): I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed http://tfl.nu/01qd

Replies (3) Good night (75) Bad night (381)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes

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(306): a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes http://tfl.nu/6zne

Replies (2) Good night (295) Bad night (82)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.

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(931): He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that. http://tfl.nu/egbd

Replies (1) Good night (262) Bad night (74)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom

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(248): Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom http://tfl.nu/b9b7

Replies (1) Good night (192) Bad night (85)

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