All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
