Texts From Last Night

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms

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(305): View more from Florida

listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again

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(210): View more from Texas

Why are you drunk at the library?

(1-210): View more from Texas

Why not?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.

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(206): View more from Washington

Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.

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(909): View more from California

Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.

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