Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?