Texts From Last Night

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(808): View more from Hawaii

In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.

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(808): In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it. http://tfl.nu/3ucc

Replies (4) Good night (108) Bad night (136)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate

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(570): The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate http://tfl.nu/e7xr

Replies (1) Good night (199) Bad night (97)
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(905): View more from Ontario

You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..

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(905): You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr.. http://tfl.nu/wzin

Replies (1) Good night (108) Bad night (192)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".

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(309): Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space". http://tfl.nu/0b3b

Replies (1) Good night (155) Bad night (121)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.

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(937): Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment. http://tfl.nu/z1fq

Replies (2) Good night (170) Bad night (128)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

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(615): IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME! http://tfl.nu/omc2

Replies (2) Good night (197) Bad night (90)
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(425): View more from Washington

My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked

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(425): My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked http://tfl.nu/kxqx

Replies (1) Good night (116) Bad night (178)
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(530): View more from California

He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday

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(530): He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday http://tfl.nu/dy0x

Replies (0) Good night (219) Bad night (79)
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(503): View more from Oregon

He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.

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(503): He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment. http://tfl.nu/auln

Replies (1) Good night (262) Bad night (78)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?

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(608): Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew? http://tfl.nu/2ign

Replies (1) Good night (128) Bad night (115)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.

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(770): Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money. http://tfl.nu/gg7b

Replies (1) Good night (219) Bad night (74)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail

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(651): When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail http://tfl.nu/zj29

Replies (0) Good night (199) Bad night (83)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?

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(651): I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this? http://tfl.nu/kchb

Replies (1) Good night (138) Bad night (128)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.

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(919): we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise. http://tfl.nu/z0vg

Replies (2) Good night (251) Bad night (85)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.

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(303): Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win. http://tfl.nu/fxme

Replies (2) Good night (170) Bad night (170)

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