I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.