If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
