Texts From Last Night

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(925): View more from California

i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.

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(925): i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking. http://tfl.nu/rb0f

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(516): View more from New York

Come through the front door when you get here.

(1-516): View more from New York

Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.

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(516): Come through the front door when you get here. (1-516): Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window. http://tfl.nu/uers

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?

(1+44): View more from

Which pub are you in?

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(+44): Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon? (1+44): Which pub are you in? http://tfl.nu/p4a0

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"

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(306): dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high" http://tfl.nu/ssrm

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(256): View more from Alabama

Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.

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(256): Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention. http://tfl.nu/44p2

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(818): View more from California

Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.

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(818): Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great. http://tfl.nu/bj70

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(705): View more from Ontario

We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass

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(705): We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass http://tfl.nu/z449

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke

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(484): There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke http://tfl.nu/bkfk

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(647): View more from Ontario

Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm

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(647): Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm http://tfl.nu/f115

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(434): View more from Virginia

Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night

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(434): Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night http://tfl.nu/pi3r

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(434): View more from Virginia

I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time

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(434): I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time http://tfl.nu/ligv

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(+61): View more from Australia

You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.

(1+61): View more from

Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?

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(+61): You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek. (1+61): Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before? http://tfl.nu/tcy4

Replies (3) Good night (266) Bad night (14)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding

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(416): Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding http://tfl.nu/gcol

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(240): View more from Maryland

Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you

(1-240): View more from Maryland

Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina

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(240): Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you (1-240): Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina http://tfl.nu/ytzu

Replies (4) Good night (288) Bad night (28)
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(512): View more from Texas

things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"

(210): View more from Texas

I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.

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(512): things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over" (210): I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback. http://tfl.nu/pi9n

Replies (2) Good night (85) Bad night (23)

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