I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
