only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?