It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.