Texts From Last Night

Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat http://tfl.nu/7oyq

Replies (0) Good night (0) Bad night (0)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen. http://tfl.nu/ym4o

Replies (0) Good night (12) Bad night (13)
Favorite
(951): View more from California

Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."

(713): View more from Texas

Well thank god i want six autographed copies

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(951): Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles." (713): Well thank god i want six autographed copies http://tfl.nu/b8sw

Replies (0) Good night (21) Bad night (20)
Favorite
(308): View more from Nebraska

You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(308): You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture. http://tfl.nu/dxd6

Replies (0) Good night (26) Bad night (31)
Favorite
(347): View more from New York

She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(347): She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty. http://tfl.nu/vxvx

Replies (0) Good night (43) Bad night (36)
Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers. http://tfl.nu/dqr9

Replies (3) Good night (208) Bad night (116)
Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date http://tfl.nu/7for

Replies (1) Good night (352) Bad night (101)
Favorite
(530): View more from California

Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(530): Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber. http://tfl.nu/lvwx

Replies (3) Good night (129) Bad night (221)
Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch? http://tfl.nu/k968

Replies (0) Good night (217) Bad night (73)
Favorite
(281): View more from Texas

This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(281): This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse. http://tfl.nu/ekrm

Replies (6) Good night (111) Bad night (280)
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog. http://tfl.nu/uit4

Replies (4) Good night (84) Bad night (250)
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too. http://tfl.nu/2rql

Replies (1) Good night (260) Bad night (78)
Favorite
(416): View more from Toronto

He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(416): He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came. http://tfl.nu/cj68

Replies (1) Good night (111) Bad night (244)
Favorite
(720): View more from Colorado

I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(720): I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos http://tfl.nu/w3a2

Replies (0) Good night (98) Bad night (229)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents? http://tfl.nu/sosc

Replies (0) Good night (186) Bad night (88)

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: