I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...