But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.