Texts From Last Night

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(419): View more from Ohio

I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.

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(419): I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week. http://tfl.nu/tkc3

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(319): View more from Iowa

I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.

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(319): I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally. http://tfl.nu/bg1s

Replies (0) Good night (4) Bad night (2)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes

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(860): I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes http://tfl.nu/geqc

Replies (0) Good night (3) Bad night (2)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE

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(403): HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE http://tfl.nu/834j

Replies (0) Good night (2) Bad night (2)
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(352): View more from Florida

The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.

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(352): The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship. http://tfl.nu/l9xj

Replies (0) Good night (3) Bad night (4)
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(585): View more from New York

He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.

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(585): He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey. http://tfl.nu/ziwb

Replies (0) Good night (4) Bad night (6)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.

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(606): Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it. http://tfl.nu/uv1q

Replies (0) Good night (9) Bad night (4)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.

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(606): I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fffo

Replies (0) Good night (5) Bad night (6)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment

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(405): I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment http://tfl.nu/xtg9

Replies (0) Good night (11) Bad night (3)
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(706): View more from Georgia

There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.

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(706): There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks. http://tfl.nu/6lm5

Replies (0) Good night (7) Bad night (11)
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(240): View more from Maryland

I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.

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(240): I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants. http://tfl.nu/tydc

Replies (0) Good night (10) Bad night (4)
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(630): View more from Illinois

He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.

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(630): He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry. http://tfl.nu/hq2l

Replies (0) Good night (6) Bad night (9)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night

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(+44): So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night http://tfl.nu/vjpp

Replies (0) Good night (8) Bad night (7)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.

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(865): At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over. http://tfl.nu/ybrg

Replies (0) Good night (5) Bad night (11)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.

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(973): Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive. http://tfl.nu/xxuz

Replies (0) Good night (8) Bad night (11)

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