I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
