If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover