I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.