Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ontario (519)

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops

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  (519): I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops http://tfl.nu/3fz9
  Replies (2) Good night (331) Bad night (93) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I am not being the messenger for your booty call.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.

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  (519): I am not being the messenger for your booty call. (250): I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one. http://tfl.nu/rzt1
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (108)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.

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  (519): He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat. http://tfl.nu/pqit
  Replies (10) Good night (1174) Bad night (299)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.

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  (519): I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person. http://tfl.nu/mw9z
  Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (135)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become

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  (519): I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become http://tfl.nu/18v7
  Replies (3) Good night (364) Bad night (194) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.

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  (519): i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them. http://tfl.nu/zpwg
  Replies (9) Good night (947) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.

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  (519): We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars. http://tfl.nu/3me1
  Replies (7) Good night (722) Bad night (171)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.

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  (807): Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes. (519): does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks. http://tfl.nu/6pcz
  Replies (3) Good night (208) Bad night (566)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.

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  (519): People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style. http://tfl.nu/g3nw
  Replies (3) Good night (968) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy

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  (519): I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy http://tfl.nu/0rhn
  Replies (5) Good night (619) Bad night (215) Order T-Shirt
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.

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  (289): God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore. (519): Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor. http://tfl.nu/xdad
  Replies (8) Good night (1095) Bad night (243)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."

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  (519): University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue." http://tfl.nu/irh4
  Replies (0) Good night (702) Bad night (186)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good

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  (519): He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good http://tfl.nu/g2kf
  Replies (3) Good night (963) Bad night (181) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I think he's speaking German to me now

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly

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  (519): I think he's speaking German to me now (519): Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly http://tfl.nu/dbru
  Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (185)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...

  (226): View more from Ontario

  did I at least say anything...

  (519): View more from Ontario

  you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living

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  (519): we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom... (226): did I at least say anything... (519): you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living http://tfl.nu/vjjh
  Replies (6) Good night (1802) Bad night (248)