You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.