I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
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Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it