I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread