Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (713)

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  (713): View more from Texas

  Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!

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  All I did was send my mom an ecard

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  (713): Body shots with my MILFs MILF!! (281): All I did was send my mom an ecard http://tfl.nu/9e20
  Replies (2) Good night (311) Bad night (114)
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  No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"

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  (713): No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY" http://tfl.nu/to54
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  I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?

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  (713): I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla? http://tfl.nu/e5jq
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  It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.

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  (713): It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards. http://tfl.nu/tzzb
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  So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".

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  (713): So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom". http://tfl.nu/chqv
  Replies (8) Good night (717) Bad night (164) Order T-Shirt
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  Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"

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  (713): Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words" http://tfl.nu/ql9t
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  I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong

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  (713): I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong http://tfl.nu/72i1
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  I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.

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  (713): I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/unpl
  Replies (4) Good night (695) Bad night (197)
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  Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.

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  (713): Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style? (832): You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/9cao
  Replies (3) Good night (243) Bad night (704)
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  Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?

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  (713): Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink? http://tfl.nu/qwz5
  Replies (9) Good night (1117) Bad night (214) Order T-Shirt
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  I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.

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  (713): I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it. http://tfl.nu/p4p1
  Replies (9) Good night (1243) Bad night (329)
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  Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.

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  (713): Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair. http://tfl.nu/2yyf
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  Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.

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  (713): Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon. http://tfl.nu/r8yq
  Replies (4) Good night (1141) Bad night (277) Order T-Shirt
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  I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"

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  (713): I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in" http://tfl.nu/49tf
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  WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!

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  (713): WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?! http://tfl.nu/7tg4
  Replies (10) Good night (397) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt