She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star