Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Oregon (503)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long.. http://tfl.nu/2c8x
  Replies (3) Good night (292) Bad night (72) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Not okay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car! (503): Not okay. http://tfl.nu/moe1
  Replies (5) Good night (72) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else. http://tfl.nu/cpkz
  Replies (11) Good night (2119) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon. http://tfl.nu/he7t
  Replies (2) Good night (168) Bad night (1046) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company. http://tfl.nu/g17w
  Replies (25) Good night (284) Bad night (1723) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol http://tfl.nu/9mqs
  Replies (10) Good night (1268) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  What kind of balloon animal was it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor. (1-503): What kind of balloon animal was it? http://tfl.nu/lyo1
  Replies (12) Good night (1601) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands. http://tfl.nu/rsji
  Replies (12) Good night (2074) Bad night (306) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success. http://tfl.nu/fztg
  Replies (8) Good night (788) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/09st
  Replies (9) Good night (1254) Bad night (304) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes. http://tfl.nu/0nvq
  Replies (9) Good night (1662) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation http://tfl.nu/9svf
  Replies (6) Good night (678) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together. http://tfl.nu/6ddq
  Replies (15) Good night (1417) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want. http://tfl.nu/gyya
  Replies (10) Good night (1545) Bad night (241) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day. http://tfl.nu/c6qn
  Replies (11) Good night (1202) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt