Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
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This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.