I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.