You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together