My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head