A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
True college students do jello shots in the library
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
there is glitter all over my balls