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Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
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