This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I use my feet as sexual weapons
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.