They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.