Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wyoming (307)

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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.

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  (307): I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck. http://tfl.nu/p4ld
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  Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any

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  (307): Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any http://tfl.nu/i4l6
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  He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place

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  (307): He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place http://tfl.nu/50j6
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  I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.

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  (307): I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard. http://tfl.nu/j9hb
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  There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.

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  I wholeheartedly concur

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  (907): There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail. (307): I wholeheartedly concur http://tfl.nu/eyej
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  There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one

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  (307): There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one http://tfl.nu/1hhb
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  Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed

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  (307): Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed http://tfl.nu/7csc
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  The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.

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  (307): The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin. http://tfl.nu/jijz
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  WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.

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  (307): WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk. http://tfl.nu/ho36
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  While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.

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  (307): While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career. http://tfl.nu/fdba
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  I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.

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  (307): I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink. http://tfl.nu/yj2y
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  I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.

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  (307): I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/gswm
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  Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.

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  (307): Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me. http://tfl.nu/8ybs
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  Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents

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  (307): Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents http://tfl.nu/rmp2
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  Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first

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  (307): Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first http://tfl.nu/80vm
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