You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.