This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!