Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.