Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day