ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.