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  • 84 51
    Submitted by just_a_angel on Nov 5, 10 at 12:44am

    Been there, it just hurts

  • 96 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 8:12am

    I use to think that before I fuck. But after 2 rounds I falll asleep.

  • 78 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 4:54pm

    sounds like the ICP wannabes have found TFLN

  • 72 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 5:55pm

    I can't imagine how many calls those numbers are going to get! Holy shit I bet they don't stop ringing for a week

  • 69 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 8:39pm

    This episode of Family Guy was on the other night.

  • 76 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 7:11pm

    Well hello there, Quagmire. I thought you lived in Rhode Island?

  • 85 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 6:41pm

    i don't care if this is a family guy quote. if i got this i would marry the sender. awesome.

  • 81 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 12:38am

    funnier when quagmire said it

  • 71 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 6:00pm

    why cant i find a girl to say this for me.

  • 74 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 4:51pm

    baha first! JUSTKITTEN

  • 74 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 9:55pm

    i love how everyone is giving out peoples phone numbers now.. i have already hooked up with 2 of these girls..

  • 74 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 4:54pm

    Stab that hoe with a fork!

  • 75 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 4:53pm

    Rookie. Fuck that bitch, don't dream it.

  • 74 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 4:32am

    Tried too hard, 4:19, no one is impressed.

  • 70 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 11:52pm

    I totally just sent this to my bf:)

  • 74 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 11:38pm

    Stolen from Family Guy!!

  • 76 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 10:05pm

    ya, pretty sure a guy sent this

  • 66 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 1:36am

    agreed 126 from family guy or not, it would get me in bed and a laugh as well.

  • 75 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 8:31pm

    I stab bitches with a chainsaw

  • 62 57
    Submitted by hurley4792 on Apr 16, 10 at 12:22am

    From family guy

  • 69 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 9:53pm

    Check out the new posts at ijustwanttotellyou.c0m.

  • 72 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 5:06pm

    when all the cums gone all your left with is shootin knee cartilage. Trust me

  • 66 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 10:35am

    This is awesome. It gets me in bed all the time. It doesn't matter if its from family guy. There's nothing better than knowing your partner wants you that bad. Hey "fail" people, you should try this...maybe you can finally get laid.

  • 78 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 7:21pm

    1. I miss college 2. I miss women that say things like this 3. Why don't all women say things like this?

  • 72 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 5:08pm

    205-382-9735 if you like fat chicks.

  • 71 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 9:53pm

    It tells something about society today, a woman (hopefully) says something that sexy,,, and people cant help but relate it to an un-funny adult cartoon....and then keep talking about said cartoon. .....sad.

  • 66 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 8:38pm

    yeah, you can't "stab" anyone with a chainsaw. idiot.

  • 70 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 6:38pm

    6:00 cause it just wouldn't make as much sense.

  • 68 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 4:56pm

    4:53 haha! good reference

  • 73 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 26, 09 at 12:47pm

    Oh it's from Family Guy. No wonder it isn't funny.

  • 61 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 5:50pm

    508.. that's a low blow man

  • 66 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 5:18pm

    wtf you savin the little bastards? let'em go boy your body will make plenty more.

  • 68 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 4:51pm

    the reply would make this much funnier

  • 67 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 6:01pm

    4:53 - that's awesome...jerry seinfeld certainly isn't the model of good dirty talk, but why did she leave when he said that...not that weird

  • 58 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 7:44am

    I think it's sweet :-)

  • 65 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 5:51pm

    908[[[283[[[0599 is a fat chick. call 4 a good time.

  • 60 72
    Submitted by Lorelai on Feb 21, 10 at 5:53am

    bang!

  • 59 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 25, 09 at 6:50am

    hahah well i want to do you until from each nipple a little flag pops out saying 'boom' and 'pow'...xD

  • 53 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 9:54pm

    7:21 - i'm pretty sure it was a dude who sent this

  • 63 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 11:37pm

    the first half of this text is so sexy

  • 61 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 1:03am

    Love this & it happens to me a lot just by thinking about a certain peep!!

  • 61 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 5:04pm

    are u sure... ur nuts will hate u for it

  • 61 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 4:52pm

    first been there done that

  • 64 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 6:39pm

    i find this incredibly sweet in a very funny way. :)

  • 58 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 29, 09 at 4:27pm

    Three-oh-five for life!! (:

  • 57 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 10:43am

    8:54, thats the way to be.

  • 56 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 10:16pm

    9:53 just because you dont appreciate the humor of this text or family guy doesnt mean its sad

  • 61 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 7:25pm

    Shoot yeah, I'd kill for my guy to want to do it that much!

  • 49 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 4:19am

    I'm sorry, but it isn't cool to repeat jokes from a cartoon, no matter how funny it is. It shows a lack of originality and creativity on the OP's part. If I got this text, I'd go over to their house and slap them across the face and tell them to try again.

  • 54 74
    Submitted by bubbacatlove on Jan 26, 10 at 5:51pm

    STOLEN FROM FAMILY GUY = FAIL

  • 54 76
    Submitted by BUffMasterFlex on Jan 16, 10 at 12:48am

    I've gotten a text like this before..it was an epic night

  • 54 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 1:26am

    Seriously, if one person lets us know it's from Family Guy, every person after doesn't have to. Read, goddammit!

  • 56 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 12:31pm

    10:35 has the right idea.

  • 59 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 8:54am

    agree with 812. all i want after round 2 is a smoke and a pillow.

  • 54 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 4:51pm

    and the award for worst dirty talk ever goes to..........

  • 56 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 3:33am

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

  • 45 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 4:55pm

    this is a disgrace to miami.... pathetic

  • 54 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 29, 09 at 1:11pm

    Don't copy things from Family Guy, it's to cool for you...

  • 55 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 7:27am

    Family Guy fffffaaaaaiiiiiiilllllll......

  • 59 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 30, 09 at 11:45pm

    Miami. I want to marry you. =D

  • 49 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 4:41am

    Maybe you need to actually think about the influence of Family Guy on your life. If you quote it more than three times a day, that's a sad obsession.

  • 47 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 28, 09 at 12:18am

    enjoy all the babies that cum out of her when you done genius condom = win

  • 59 99
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 5:24pm

    that'll get her in the mood....

  • 50 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 6:41pm

    Id like to plow that girl right in the butthole.....Right in the Brown Sherriffs Badge!

  • 14 17
    Submitted by 81OL on Oct 2, 13 at 12:49am

    Well then...

  • 51 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 4:53pm

    are those the panties your mom laid out for you this morning?

  • 22 48
    Submitted by vodkaluvver on Jul 7, 12 at 11:50pm

    i want to be the recipient so bad

  • 41 91
    Submitted by pyton911 on Apr 12, 10 at 8:01am

    You copyed family guy