Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested