I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker