You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED