I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The power of my boobs compel you
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did