Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
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Really? You've got nothing better to do that call someone out in their bullshit?
Really? You've got nothing better to do then steal other people's tflns? -.- http://textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-41153.html
Also very similar to an episode of nip/tuck