I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.