It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.