I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday