Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (518)

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  (518): View more from New York

  I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean

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  (518): I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean http://tfl.nu/nhpo
  Replies (1) Good night (1013) Bad night (143) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.

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  (518): Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time. http://tfl.nu/sw9x
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (130) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.

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  (518): If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon. http://tfl.nu/vgjv
  Replies (3) Good night (180) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.

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  (518): I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive. http://tfl.nu/rul5
  Replies (7) Good night (1674) Bad night (234) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.

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  Who is this?!????

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  That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.

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  (518): That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook. (315): Who is this?!???? (518): That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger. http://tfl.nu/487m
  Replies (7) Good night (2866) Bad night (254)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.

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  (518): Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered. http://tfl.nu/cv8i
  Replies (3) Good night (291) Bad night (549)
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  (518): View more from New York

  No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.

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  (518): No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once. http://tfl.nu/gul1
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  (518): View more from New York

  I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.

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  (518): I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen. http://tfl.nu/2oin
  Replies (6) Good night (657) Bad night (162) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Woke up in time for my 8:15

  (518): View more from New York

  Good for you I'm impressed

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  I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester

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  (561): Woke up in time for my 8:15 (518): Good for you I'm impressed (561): I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester http://tfl.nu/b7yv
  Replies (2) Good night (760) Bad night (834)
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  (518): View more from New York

  If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.

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  (518): If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd. http://tfl.nu/04nl
  Replies (8) Good night (737) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?

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  (518): No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark? http://tfl.nu/5sw5
  Replies (2) Good night (238) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh

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  (518): you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh http://tfl.nu/hnvd
  Replies (6) Good night (1408) Bad night (278) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours

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  (518): We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours http://tfl.nu/zbw4
  Replies (9) Good night (882) Bad night (271) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life

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  (518): I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life http://tfl.nu/wu65
  Replies (5) Good night (795) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing

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  (518): That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz (978): Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing http://tfl.nu/v9yz
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (294)