am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...