Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
do nipples grow back?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait