was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
false alarm, still single
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train