Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower