You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads