Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.