I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know her cup size but not her name....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.