I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK