The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
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I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
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Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.