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  • how do you lock your keys in a car? please explain. i need my keys to lock my car.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:14pm
    • If you have an automatic car and hit the lock button and say leave your keys in the ignition or on the seat. Not that hard to do.

      Submitted by SunnyGreenEyes on Jun 4, 12 at 7:49pm
  • Real...fake..who cares...it's hilarious!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 11:17pm
  • 1:14 does have a point. Except, you just can't lock yourself out while using the drivers door. As long as that door is shut already, you can totally lock your keys in your car. Fake or not, whoever came up with this is genius, I would never think to say anything like that. lmao.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 2:35pm
  • it was on Overheard Everywhere... like a week ago or something

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 16, 09 at 7:09pm
  • I like how people try to decipher whether texts are real or fake...either way we get a good laugh out of them.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:13pm
  • 1.what you shouldve done was had those legs closed just like ur locked doors, LMAO!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:21pm
  • best ever! who cares if it's fake? it's uber clever if it is and hilarious either way

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 7:23pm
  • ask for one of those fetus' in a jar, so u can smash the window

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 3:58pm
  • wow this is the best one but the is an akward situatiom

    Submitted by ashleyslover on Jun 30, 10 at 10:37am
  • 7:23, agreed. I was there the other day. What a shithole.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 5:59pm
  • reminds me of the time i used a wire hanger to get my pills out from behind the dresser where they had fallen. i knew where the hanger was going if i didn't get the pills out ;-)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 12:56am
  • Oh. My. God. ROTFL!!!!!!!!! This is definitely the best one on here that I've ever seen.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 6:00pm
  • 8:22 is right. abortion isn't funny. for example, it'd be wildly innappropriate and unfunny to say: What's worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree, a dead baby nailed to 5 trees

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 12:47am
  • Apparently someone needed some plan C with that plan B.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 3:48pm
  • lmao. thats one of the best texts ive read so far!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 12:52pm
  • this sounds fake...but at the same time i could totally believe this happening haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 12:45pm
  • @ 1:14PM: 1) Open door. 2) Place keys on seat. 3) Press "lock" button on inside of car door. 4) Shut door. 5) Profit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:17pm
  • BEST TFLN EVER.... omg.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 8:46pm
  • brilliant.

    Submitted by hahathatsfunny69 on May 28, 10 at 5:34pm
  • HHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 26, 09 at 9:54am
  • Has anyone noticed that a lot of texts from here also end up on Bash and vice versa??

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 6, 09 at 4:56pm
  • I don't even care if this is fake, it's hysterical!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:09pm
  • abortions are a terrible atrocity. this is not a laughing matter. you all should be ashamed

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 11:40pm
  • Like 1:59 said... it was in a college humor article before... still funny though

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 3:26pm
  • so wrong. so wrong it's right.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 12:42pm
  • hahahahahaaaha, i don't even if it is fake. its still funny.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 6:18pm
  • 1:21 i've parked in front of dunkin donuts to go to a head shop, does that make me fat? how does parking in front of PP make you a slut???

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 2:11pm
  • this was on college humor article:1776092

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:59pm
  • ha ha ha ha ha omg this is great

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 12:54pm
  • think its hilarious but i do think its fake. still funny as shit though.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 6:23pm
  • I wonder which PP it was. Go Colorado!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:33pm
  • Pure awesome. Go Colorado!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 2, 09 at 3:36pm
  • ahahhahahah, this is the first one to actually make me laugh out loud. nicely done.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 7:39pm
  • Ah god a lot of you are prudes, it's a fucking joke. Abortion CAN be funny, and here it is.

    Submitted by Archetype00 on Jun 13, 11 at 4:13am
  • real, or fake.. this is amazing!! best one, by far!! and @ 11:40, its a damn funny joke.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 1:17pm
  • This is the best one I've read on here, ever.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 12:54pm
  • 1:14pm You can't be that retarded. Car doors lock from inside the car too dipshit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:20pm
  • best.text.evurrrrrrrr

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 7:36pm
  • how does dunkin donuts make you fat?!?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 2:32pm
  • this is awful! i don't understand how people can think this is so funny. clearly you have no respect for human life. i am not a close-minded person, but there are certain things that are just wrong to joke about.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 8:22pm
  • This actually happened to my friend... Is this Rez?

    Submitted by tafthighsucks on Nov 30, 10 at 10:51am
  • very good! i got a good laugh from this one! prob one of the best texts so far.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 3:37pm
  • "HangER, not hangar." Just kidding, haha. This text is hilarious.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 8:18pm
  • ohhh omg so good! hahah

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 1:42am
  • Why the hell is Everyone anonymous?

    Submitted by TheOneGuy on Oct 26, 10 at 2:26pm
  • This is the most amazing thing I've ever heard. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 4:48pm
  • of all the places to need a hanger.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:28pm
  • 1:14 - Some people don't have brand new cars from this decade like you do. Older cars, it is very easy to lock your keys into your car...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 8:07pm
  • Why aren't u down here talkig to me u don't love anymore

    Submitted by skinny0069 on Apr 3, 10 at 11:40pm
  • Dude, I love you. Can I marry you right now? Run away with me to Vegas lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 11:34am
  • This is the best ever lmao!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 26, 09 at 1:09pm
  • hahahaahah that is hilarious

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:45pm
  • hehe that was so funny

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 1:12am
  • is this real?? if so that's hilarious

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 12:55pm
  • haha awesome. of course you can lock your keys in your car. Once I actually locked a person inside my car - I have a landrover, they have a very weird locking system...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:54pm
  • So fucking funny!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 22, 10 at 8:45pm
  • 8:22 this text has nothing to do with human life. Besides, there's nothing wrong with abortions. I was aborted and look at me, I turned out fine

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 8:52pm
  • already been done, guys, keep reading.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:00pm
  • Fuck ya!! Thank u denver

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 4, 09 at 9:53am
  • I dont get it?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 14, 10 at 2:19am
  • Lmfao they would have had a heartattack

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 4:19am
  • if plan b fails, proceed to plan d & c.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 5:02am
  • i worked at pp and someone came in once for this purpose (legitimately, like she didn't realize the implications). go to any other business in the area if this happens.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:21pm
  • This was probably another retarded grand junction chick asking a SMART Denver person how to fix her life's fuck ups.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 2:48pm
  • BEST TEXT EVER!!! I laughed really hard!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 4, 10 at 9:30pm
  • who cares if its fake...ITS FUNNY

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:34pm
  • 1;21...shove your bible where the sun dont shine, preacher

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 3:16pm
  • Lol this one MADE me laugh

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 13, 09 at 1:14pm
  • hahahaha 2:48 grand junction sucksss

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 7:23pm
  • hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Submitted by guitarplay3r on Dec 2, 11 at 3:46am
  • HahahahahahahahahahahahahagHHAaaaaa. Best text

    Submitted by hp7438 on Jun 6, 10 at 10:25pm
  • hilarious

    Submitted by bob_50 on Mar 25, 10 at 5:26pm
  • This makes me want to go to PP and lock my keys in my car just so I can legitimately send this message to my friends!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:57pm
  • Hahaha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 25, 10 at 7:32pm
  • i acually teared from this one haahahaa ;)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 2:21am
  • Hahahahah that's hilarious

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 19, 09 at 5:57pm
  • LMAO BEST TEXT EVER! 11:40, pull your head out of your ass and LAUGH. It's funny!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 2:12pm
  • i think this just made my life

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 2:35am
  • This made my day... Thank you

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 7, 09 at 8:33pm
  • Ha ha, fucking hilarious.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 11, 09 at 2:15pm
  • I'm sure it was on College humor but this is an ooooold joke. pre-interwebz even!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 10:22pm
  • Oh my god, I just laughed my ass off, hahaha.

    Submitted by wherearewe on Apr 11, 11 at 2:02am
  • at least she can kill two birds with one stone!

    Submitted by effyew on Jun 28, 10 at 6:41pm
  • 12:47 and 8:22 fuck off its not your child

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 29, 09 at 9:11pm
  • Best text I've ever read

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 1, 09 at 1:59pm
  • Omg this is hands down the funniest thing ever haahahhaha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 7, 10 at 2:20pm
  • I love you

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 11:21pm
  • lol...omg this made me laugh so much!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:33pm
  • 11:40, you should be ashamed of the massive stick in your ass preventing you from relaxing and taking a joke.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 3:35pm
  • Damn it bebe, I didn't know u had it in u!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 24, 09 at 1:52am
  • OMG I ACCIDENTLY VOTED IT THUMBS DOWN SHIIIIIT

    Submitted by LOVELIFEE on Jun 5, 10 at 6:04pm
  • Clothes hangers: they bring out the baby in you!

    Submitted by rodrigo on Mar 14, 10 at 12:18pm
  • By far the best text

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 18, 09 at 3:48am
  • what do you get when you stick a knife up a dead babies ass? i dont know about you, but i get an erection

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 11, 09 at 5:52am
  • LMAO! best text ever

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 4, 09 at 3:51pm
  • Baahahahahaha I just peed a liitle

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 21, 09 at 10:11pm
  • It's so funny, but it also makes my beaver slam shut.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 31, 09 at 2:19am
  • 11:40 get a life. Don't be so close-minded.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 7:06pm
  • Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 19, 09 at 10:19am
  • ooooohhhhh man. If this is fake, I don't care. TOOOO GOOD!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 1:52pm
  • i love how people say its impossible to lock your keys in your car. i drive a car without automatic locks meaning i have to lock the doors before i get out. and if you set your keys down to grab something else... well..., there you have it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 3:44pm
  • Hahahahahaha! So funny

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 20, 09 at 5:55pm
  • 2:19 seriously? People use clothes hangers for back alley abortions sometimes. Dumbass bitchfucker...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 28, 10 at 7:53pm
  • This is how we do it in Colorado

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 8, 09 at 10:21pm
  • This doesn't even need the reply. The straight line is better than any response could ever be.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 25, 09 at 7:56pm
  • Oh man--I just put my 91 year old mother to bed a few minutes ago--now I'm going to have to tell her tomorrow what cracked me up...I'm betting she'll love it. I don't care if it's an old joke--I never heard it before and no one should miss it. Thank you to the person who posted it!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 1:26am
  • CLASSIC

    Submitted by calisurfgrl on Sep 25, 12 at 9:51pm
  • OMG YES. This App is going to make me lose my job.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 31, 09 at 6:18am
  • this... is so fucking epic. fake or not, i nearly pissed myself.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 14, 09 at 6:09pm