Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I need a hoe opinion
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I feel like I smell like bad decisions