i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
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