She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.