I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...