Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.