Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire