I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it