I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals