You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.