There's even glitter on my cock...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl