Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.