Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ontario (905)

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  (905): View more from Ontario

  ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.

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  (905): ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all. http://tfl.nu/qym2
  Replies (3) Good night (870) Bad night (141)
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  I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".

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  (905): I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn". http://tfl.nu/2c8a
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  you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.

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  (905): you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed. http://tfl.nu/nsl5
  Replies (13) Good night (2980) Bad night (213) Order T-Shirt
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  threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.

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  (905): threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month. http://tfl.nu/vbvn
  Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt
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  I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal

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  (905): I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal http://tfl.nu/u38b
  Replies (6) Good night (1530) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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  Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.

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  (905): Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass. http://tfl.nu/tco3
  Replies (9) Good night (3694) Bad night (239) Order T-Shirt
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  Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.

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  (905): Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today. http://tfl.nu/u9so
  Replies (36) Good night (859) Bad night (2387) Order T-Shirt
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  I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental

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  (905): I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental http://tfl.nu/iday
  Replies (5) Good night (1501) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
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  Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.

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  (905): Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists. http://tfl.nu/ucjm
  Replies (3) Good night (1760) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.

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  (905): Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well. http://tfl.nu/5evy
  Replies (4) Good night (1014) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
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  Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.

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  (905): Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now. http://tfl.nu/gjj1
  Replies (4) Good night (351) Bad night (2461) Order T-Shirt
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  he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love

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  (905): he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love http://tfl.nu/0ny7
  Replies (20) Good night (3125) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
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  Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.

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  (905): Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants. http://tfl.nu/3ltp
  Replies (5) Good night (1611) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.

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  (905): I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do. http://tfl.nu/nqbr
  Replies (5) Good night (1294) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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  I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.

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  (905): I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio. http://tfl.nu/hxom
  Replies (3) Good night (1084) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt