It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.