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Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
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