It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life