I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off