She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE