So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
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I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.