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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
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