How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.